This is a letter to my creativity coach Sara
Before our call I always give her a headsup..
When I confessed this to you, you always assured me that if I would show up, in my total messiness, we’d just “pick it up from there”.
Although I had no idea what that meant, or what kind of magic trick you would have up your sleeve to untangle my mental mess and mayhem, I still found that enormously reassuring.
If it still stands.
The good news is: “There”, as in a place where you don’t know where to start or what to write your coach, is not a bad place to be at all.
It’s very quiet.
It wasn’t when my life was tumultuous, when I would be needing to take you up on that offer;
It is now, when I feel I m in the eye of the storm.
There is nothing here.
Everything has come to a halt, and everything I was working on seems irrelevant.
Like I need to stop writing.
And this blog is not even two years old.
The reason I have temporarily stopped writing now, is because of a heatwave.
It’s like a holiday.
I had the intention of writing offline/ journaling my blog posts and type and post them when the heat has subsided.
But I find myself not interested in writing offline at all.
Even though my biggest project, here on this site, would definitely benefit from a little working in advance, because I m going to be pressed for time to finish it in the time I said I would.
Half July I started writing Facebook notes, and recently I bundled them to a blog post called;
“Demons and Daemons” a Facebook novella by Suzanne/Lauren
A diary that covers three weeks, out of which I wrote fifteen days.
Since I write because I have an internal need to do so, keeping it manageable is almost impossible, because writing happens when it happens.
But for instance by posting on Facebook first, instead of here on the blog, I can prevent overflowing your mailbox with 15 messages.
Instead you get one novella.
And before I knew it I had split them up – sending them out chapter by chapter after all – BUT!
Also adding an entire new layer to them.
The layer I was adding in the chapter-by-chapter Book Club was exactly the opposite.
Just like a marriage would have you show up daily.
The posts for The Book Club (the two books together, The Book Club and Daemons and Demons, will be called A Journey Into Unknown) but also posts for my Rock Star Writer account under my real name;
I wrote and wrote the days after the “wedding”.
Was my wedding post to Writing a declaration of love or a case of auto-Stockholm syndrome where I was loyal to my oppressor?
Was my muse in reality a hostage taker?
And on day 3, as I was limiting the hours the cats could have their water fountain on (they do have two water bowls, before you fear I m limiting their access to water) to minimize heat by electrical devices, I realized that this hot weather, which will only get worse because the nights stay warmer so the house doesn’t cool off, that this is no time to use to computer.
Holiday granted by the Universe, so to speak.
No more The Box Set or Live From London, both series for my Rock Star Writer account.
And publishing my books with my hard drive in overdrive for hours on end, is not going to happen until our temperature stays under 30 degrees (86 Fahrenheit)
And although my ego is slightly upset by The Book Club/ Map To Unknown being in severe risk of never being finished;
Part of me thinks it’s a sign that it should never ever be finished.
And it’s a big part.
That I wanted this in a blog post where I would one day read it again.
And seeing that even if I had continued, I would not have liked how I was spending my days, being enslaved by writing, daily messaging, and using reposts if I have not written anything that day;
It’s all far too heavy.
But I think that’s where we’ll pick it up.
And although you had chosen for him and had a lot of future plans together, and thought he’d be in your life forever, you find out the relief of all that space coming available now that he has left,
is more dear to you than his presence ever was.
An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living
Books LS Harteveld/ Lauren
Lauren’s books are available at LULU
New books will also be added to Lulu, as sites are being curated.
coming soon: new books
1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2020
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- (Dutch)
5. ALL THE THINGS – unpublished work 2010 – 2020
The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow this blog. The subscription button to this blog is on this page, probably on the right.