The Friend Zone

The big takeaway of my session with Sara was clear to me;
It was about friendship being the cornerstone to everything, and to a far bigger extent than I could phantom.
But I did check my notes on how I was going to call this post, because I knew I had come up with a title but didn’t remember it.
And I had to reread the notes to compose the full story.

It took me several hours to deduct the main conclusion, which was why I am so terribly picky with friendships.

The previous blogpost had been about protecting what I (no doubt overdramatically) had called “My Mission”.
It established that the biggest threat came from the mission one day collapsing under the weight of a love relationship.
You know, those first few months where you give up your entire life to be with one another every waking minute?
Yeah…. that can never happen again.

But the conversation with Sara proved the line of defense was not so close to home, or to my bed, but was actually further out.
It was in my friendships, and it had been there for a couple of years.

Now none of this was new information.
I’ve realized for a long time what I want my friendships to be like;
Fun, clear and without any emotional labor performed by either one of us.

I want a dating-like structure where we only see each other if we want a good time, and a lover is also a friend, but one with whom a good time can also mean something sexual.

Like I said, none of this is new. After a long and dangerous ride on the friendship struggle bus, I now know how to drive it.
My friendship formula is ingrained to me, and I am fully comfortable with it. As I am with my love life as well; This is handled, it’s encoded. The work is done. 

So it might look like the conversation with Sara did not come up with any new things, but that was not true. Because I learned, or suddenly saw WHY, I have been so hardcore on getting this right.
Why I insisted on friendships being that way, and I’ve already given it away, so maybe you noticed!
Because it was of course the exact same reason as with lovers.
To protect the core, the mission, my art, my creativity.

Again, I have been this way with friendships for years, and I’ve been that way with lovers even longer.
And yet everything changed because I now understand WHY.

Because my life is centered in creativity.
My art is at the core, you could call it a mission.
But regardless of what you call it, I’m not risking its destiny.

I am here for it.

~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living