Work with me { my first sales page! }

Well, obviously it’s not really my first sales page, right?
I mean, even knowing that word illustrates that I ve been around the business block, but still!
I have never written a sales page under this name, because LS Harteveld sells books.
Not services.
Until now, anyway!
And I ve made an extremely daring choice here..
But it’s a fair one.

Even though my books are mainly read by men, my entrepreneur friends are mostly men, AND I ve spent the last 15 years bathing in masculine energy teaching yoga.
Oh, I m kidding, that was mostly women 🙂

But I’m only working with women for my coaching service.
So I m aware that women are a minority within my reading audience.
My estimate is one out of ten readers is female, and that’s probably overestimating.
But maybe in a way, that’s the whole point.
With men I already share my mind, through my writing.
But with women I share my soul.

~Lauren
PS: there is a unisex “subscribe to this blog” button on this page! 😉

Work with me

Okay, okay, okay.
Before we begin, can I confess the biggest mistake I ve made this year?
I mean it was SO big, that I’m almost like:
“If people find out about this, they will NEVER book me!
Not ever!
Not a chance!”
Can we talk about this, before I bring in all the bells and whistles?
I.
Forgot.
My.
Purpose.

My message. 
The very reason I m here on this earth.
Gone!
The whole thing!

Me. The yoga teacher who stopped teaching yoga because she thought yoga should come AFTER we had a talk about how life is going.
AFTER we asses if yoga is really what you need.
Oh by the way, by now? I m convinced yoga is NEVER what you need.

You need to write a blog post with screaming capitals in every sentence.
That’s a need.
But yoga?
No.
So I basically abandoned the profession of teaching yoga because I thought purpose should always come before yoga, or before wanting to solve any other problem, or before improving your happiness by relaxing or whatever;
Purpose should always come first.
“I m leaving yoga!”
* walks out and slams the door*
And then I forgot my own purpose.

The very moment I was healed from losing a year to burnout-ish complaints, I dropped my purpose, my mission, and my message like a hot potato.
I had lost 2018 to:
– a renovation which pulled me offtrack way more than I had anticipated.
– my cat dying and didn’t want to get a new one (yet) for several reasons;
– subtle but significant changes in my love life;
– I lost my yoga business;
So what did I do when I picked up the pieces to start a normal work life again?
I DROPPED, THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE!
The thing I had managed to hold on to, despite all the turmoil;
Maybe I didn’t even drop it, but hid it somewhere under the bushes of a headhunter site. In the trashcan of LinkedIn.
Or maybe I hid it in that box with clothes size 6 and 8.
That would be symbolic right?
The One Day Box.
Yes, that’s the most likely place where my purpose would fit in just fine, and I could visit it once a year or so, only to conclude that it still didn’t fit me.
“Oh well! Better luck next year!”
And I would fold Purpose neatly between my 1998 Marlène Dietrich pants and 2005 French designer jeans.
Last week I had already discussed “purpose” with my creativity coach. I told her that although I have (had) a banner on my website “You must wake up and find your purpose!”; I really didn’t see myself as having a message.
But if I had a fixed message, finding purpose would be it.
“I’m a real artist, Sara” I told my coach.”My message is different every day.”
That night I told the story to a friend who’s been very persistent I should be sharing my message. She reacted very confused when I told her I didn’t have one. And that if I did, it would be the one about finding purpose.
So I asked her: “Well what do you think my message is then?”
“The Mistress one, obviously!” she answered immediately.
Oh yeah.
The Mistress one.
I honestly can’t say I responded very positively towards this. As far as I was concerned people would never hear about the Mistress again.
I mean sure; There’ll be a book release in April. Big Mistress.
But honest to God, if people wanted to get disappointed in regular relationships? Be my guest. I wasn’t going to be a sitting duck, and have them project their anger on me.
But my friend was not that easily swayed.
“It’s just SO good to hear someone speak about things that no one dares to speak about!” she exclaimed. “You do that!”
I used to, yes.
Yet I went home thinking I was very okay staying silent.
But today I know:
She was right.
The Mistress message IS what I am here to do, to share. The knowledge that I have acquired in my four years of being a mistress, has given me the ability to help others. Usually by refinding their purpose, but also with relationship problems.
And none of them were mistresses themselves.
So that’s why today, I decided to get behind my computer and create this page, where you can work with me.
As far as coaching goes, I don’t sell packages, nor work with assignments. I m a spur-of-moment kind of girl.
I have a business degree, and I ve been an entrepreneur for 15 years first as a yoga teacher and now as a writer, coach and speaker. I work mostly based on mindset work, which I have been studying since 1998.
You can read about the principles of my Mistress work, and also how it applies to business and life in this blog post from December 2018:
Vogue (The core values of a mistress)
And rereading that I realize all too well, that even selling this service is already against the way I defined my core values at the time. Back then, freedom to me meant not selling my time.
But last week I had the epiphany, that wasn’t really true:
That my biggest sacrifice was not selling time itself; it was selling time being outside the house. Or more specifically; selling my presence.
Ever since 2014 I ve had this idol, an escort Avery Moore. She was charging $1000 an hour, and I always wondered why that felt like a totally fair price to me. And without the sex even! I was also amused at how strict she was with her screening: You had to give her all your information, and the name of the company you worked for. She would run a background check before you met.
Rightfully so!
“If you think about it, $1000 an hour is a fair price, don’t you think?” I said to the friend who had been so kind to remind me of my purpose.
It’s how much everyone should charge, if paid to be present.

The Bells and The Whistles That Will Make You Want Me

Oh come on! Bells and whistles… lol As if that’s ever going to work!
But I can give you a little background story.
In 2006 I left my long-term relationship, in order to fall in love and have an exciting love life again.
I could really see myself end up having multiple lovers, I had no idea where my desire for sexual excitement would stop!
It turned out: Pretty quickly.
I was extremely picky. I ve had sex with ten men in eight years, and the sex (fact) was always good to great. But the whole thing outside the bed….oh, dear.
It’s unbelievable how many aspects of someone you have to ignore, if you’re not totally in love. And even the times I was in love, it was so challenging, the entire interaction around it. 
And likewise, I guess.
They must have gotten annoyed by me as well.
So I was a major fluke at being a single, and had multiple years where I didn’t bother to have sex at all. Yet, when I accidentally became a mistress, I was the one most surprised that the relationship form suited me so flawlessly.
Being someone’s secret mistress was exciting and challenging, but in a nice way because it made me incredibly strong. It felt like learning how to play poker and it gave me this mysterious aura. Which I cherished because I m so open about everything.
Finally, I was my own Woman of Mystery.
Writing this, March 2019, I don’t know if we’re still “on”.
Things have been difficult, it seems his mind is somewhere else, and I know it’s entirely pointless to “try” to win him back, or at least win his attention back.
The most important thing I ve learned as a mistress is that it always pays off to not manipulate anything, trust the process, and focus on your own thing.
Your own purpose.
And not on him.

So I m at the end of this post.
If you want to follow my Mistress work, you can subscribe to this blog (button somewhere on this page);
Follow on Facebook or Twitter,
YouTube
All my books
can be found on this page.
Are you a female entrepreneur, avid writer or powerful woman? And are you interested getting clarity on your message, your purpose or learn the Mistress lifestyle?
I have a limited number of coaching spots available.
You can find my introduction fees below.
Appearances for conventions and media start at €1000
Yeah…. the “presence” thing!

~Lauren

Coaching (women only)

60 minute session, Zoom call or phone call                  $ 125 | € 110 
six sessions, valid 6 months maximum                          $675 | € 600

application 

write a short email to info@lsharteveld,
how I can help you.
If it appeals to you, let yourself be inspired by the question: 

“If I can be, do or have anything I want, who would I be?”
If you live in another timezone, please let me know where you are, and at which times you could make it for our call. (I’m on Amsterdam-time, CET)
Then I can check my schedule.

If you want the maximum out of our time together, consider writing me an email before every session, on how your week went! 
Or keep a daily log, and send it before our sessions.

Conventions and presentations (business only)

Mail your request, with as much background information on the occasion and the audience as possible,
to info@lsharteveld.nl,
and let’s see if we can make this work.
Prices for professional appearances start at €1000

 

A boyfriend like Jon Bongiovi

 I had one important boyfriend when I was a teen. He was the only one with whom I dated, and was madly in love with at the same time.
He broke my heart of course.
But what a fair price to pay.

 In total I had three boyfriends during my teens.
 The first was really attractive, artistic and sensitive.    
 But we were both so confused that everything we did always had this sense of not being connected.       
 I still run into him occasionally, and we definitely still like each other. But it’s more curiosity, like between alien species. It’s a miracle no one got hurt, or at least not that badly. Because we possessed very little skills to communicate with each other or to put each other at ease.
 And a high need for it. 
 My third boyfriend in my teens was the sensible choice. Someone who liked me a lot, and who was a few years older than I was. He was my ticket to an adult life, offering me the privacy of his own home, with cats, home cooked meals and the obvious offer to finally get my sex life up and running.
 I had more than had it with being a virgin and was aware one night stands were never going to do it for me.     
 My body just shut down.      
 And after oral sex with my first two boyfriends, just having oral wasn’t on my bucket list anymore.          
 I needed to ditch that virginity, period!              
 So my choice for a good boyfriend who had a little love nest of his own, was a calculated one.   
Fortunately I ve always been good at math, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I lost my virginity and we had a lovely drama-free relationship for three years. Although I skillfully ignored his views for the future were a lot more domestic than mine were.             
 I tried to end it once, but I was consumed with guilt.              
 Ultimately I ended it when I was in love with someone else. That was the man I stayed with for 14 years.          
 But that was when I was 20, so that’s not my teens anymore.
 In my teens there were three:
The first artistic boyfriend; The third common sense boyfriend; And in between there was THE boyfriend.          

 Whenever I write about him I call him Jonathan. But this was not because he looked like Jon Bongiovi. I had not even realized he looked like my idol until I bought a ticket to this summer’s Bon Jovi concert.             
 I wanted to know how many years it had been since that first concert and went through my old diaries. Found the ticket; The concert had been late 1988.
And that’s when it hit me.
I had written about Jonathan so much, I knew the date him and me had met by heart. It was on a party. 
I had gone through these early beginnings with Jonathan multiple times.            
 Yet what I had failed to realize was what had preceded that!
 Even when we were dating I had considered Jonathan out of my league. He was attending a much fancier school than I was. A higher form of education, and the parents had a higher income too.
 I settled for assuming I was new and fresh, and perhaps he’d already had all the girls he wanted at his own school.
 I wasn’t complaining, but I felt lucky.
Not a single cell in me believed he would actually fall in love with me, the way I had with him.      

 I still consider that true.  
 So anyway, there was all that – the popular guy dates alternative girl and he breaks her heart – but it wasn’t until I retrieved that concert ticket that I realized he had looked exactly like Jon Bongiovi!            
 He was perhaps (and I m definitely taking a risk here!) even more attractive than Jon Bongiovi, because Jonathan was a bit rougher. I usually compared his beauty to John Malcovich’s; Unorthodox and dangerous. 
 But he also had some serious heartthrob qualities; Green eyes and an incredible head of hair. Wavy dark blond curls, shoulder length. He didn’t even use any hair products, this was all natural.        
 And he was tall, but not too tall. Not yet anyway.          
 I encountered him later and boys can keep growing until they are 21 or something. And he had. So I had caught him when he was a only two inches or so taller, and not that muscular yet either.           
 He had been absolutely perfect and far less intimidating than later on, when the combination of brains, body and charisma made him almost devilish.
 He could still crack my heart open like a walnut, but his strong presence would have warned me by now.      
  Yet when I “caught” Jonathan there were an insane amount of terribly cute things to be loved. He drew flowers on the back of his letters.
 He wrote me songs on his guitar. He was insanely romantic.    
 God I was toast for sure.             
 Anyway, finding the concert ticket explained to me WHY Jonathan had been in my life. Or at least it offered an explanation other than that he had ran out of girls at his college.            
 The first was that he looked just like Jon Bongiovi, who had been my idol for 2 years by then. I was used to looking at that face. Familiar with being up close and personal through clippings, posters, videos,  interviews on MTV.    
 Jon Bongiovi was the first idol I bought pricey American magazines for, because I hang on every word he said. 
 If it had not been for this familiarity to Jon Bongiovi, I would not have been able to stand the heat with Jonathan. The smallest thing would have made me doubt myself (even more). I would never have had the balls to pursue someone of such can I say “descent” if it had not been for having been intimate with Jon Bongiovi for two years.            
 Part of me felt I knew Jonathan.     
 And although that is obviously not true at all, I think what was the case was that I knew myself, in the company of someone like Jonathan. I was familiar with this wave of emotions and love being drawn out of me.
 I could stand the heat.
 And I could probably stand it a lot better than the girls who had limited their adoration and their relationships to the boys they met in real life.
 Which brings me to the second aspect of why I believe the Bon Jovi concert was directly linked to my relationship with Jonathan;          
 It had boosted my self-esteem and my market value.  
 A 16 year old girl, attending a concert from the biggest rock band of the eighties? On the other side of the country, on a school night?    
 That was pretty next level.         
 Something which Jonathan, who was a musician himself, had understood very well.   
 Unfortunately for me, we did not lose our virginity but we did have an amazing time. That concert turned out to be the best investment in my sex life, I ever made.      
 No wonder buying a Bon Jovi ticket for this summer, gave me goosebumps.     
 It is a ticket to a concert, an adventure, and an entire new level of being.   

<3LSH
An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

Start 30 day sabbatical

 A boyfriend like Jon Bongiovi
is part of my new book;
 Playing no. Diary of submissive non-consent fantasies
  Which I m currently writing offline and which has brought me back to the earliest beginnings of my sex life.
I m having a 30 day sabbatical.
And when I return I will have my four books ready:
1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2018
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- verhalen over mannen, macht en dagjes uit (Dutch)
and
5. Playing no. Diary of submissive non-consent fantasies
The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow this blog. 
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, probably on the right.

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