Very few people know how Cinderella got to sleep a hundred years.
She was actually meant to die.
The reason she slept a hundred years instead, was because one of the fairies who had been invited to the christening had not made her wish yet, when the evil fairy stormed in and cursed Cinderella.
The last fairy was able to change the curse from death to a hundred years of sleep.

I think what I experienced today after yesterday’s blog
2006 – 2020 I m Ending All My Work As LS Harteveld Immediately
was the shock and the horror of someone barging in here and calculating, deciding, and ultimately making the irreversible management decision that there will be no more blogging.
No more writing online.
That LS Harteveld, the pseudonym that has existed since 2006, and that turned to blogging since 2010, can simply not keep living in this age.
The age of social media.
The age of daily content.
The age of daily conversation with whomever reads your work, or doesn’t read your work but follows you online.

That someone was the evil fairy deciding all social accounts and all LS Harteveld websites were to be terminated effective immediately.
All books to be taken down, because they had a soon to be outdated website address in them and because the cover layout may not have survived the software update from the publisher and this could mean all 10 books needed updating.
They were to be taken down and then reprinted under an account that was mine (Suzanne’s).
Not an account that belonged to LS Harteveld, who was no longer among us.

New work would no longer be published because it was just sickening how much it was, and how deeply personal.
How disturbing it was…
It was the kind of work that made LS Harteveld so sick that she would never write again if it meant knowing that one day she’d have to revise and copy edit every letter put to paper.
She wanted to go to 1995.
Not curate her work from 2010-2020 plus redo all the books that might have a not-ideal cover.
She didn’t want to invest another damn minute, into those 10 books which had been DONE in 2017!

Yes, I think ultimately the thought that even if she’d somehow succeed in curating and publishing her work 2010-2020, it could still be undone years from now.
It would always need her.
She’d always need to guard it, or it could be destroyed by a simple software update.

If she accepted the task of being the caretaker of her own work, the work would never, ever be done….

She, LS Harteveld, Lauren, told us the truth yesterday.
It is all true.
But her conclusion, that because she can no longer be here, and no longer wants to participate in this world, and therefor we have to quit all her accounts?
No.
That is not true.
That was not even her choice to make.
Just like when you die, ultimately your loved ones decide what will happen to your legacy. 
Lauren didn’t die, but she migrated to another time and left us her belongings.
And now we decide what to do with it.

So here’s what I, in my role of her curator and good fairy, have been able to do in our first 24 hours:
Yes, I will be in charge of publishing the new LS Harteveld books, but despite her order to terminate all accounts – I will not do that.
I will keep all accounts intact.
The blogs will be emptied out, because this is a new era; The era where LS Harteveld has become “a voice from the past.”
For this reason, I will leave her series 1995 on this page – this will be her final blog series.
This will be where she ended her career in 2020 and will pick up writing (offline) in 1995.

Right after last night’s blog I ordered a couple of books from the web shop. All the covers do seem to be slightly “off”, and although I believe it is the publisher’s responsibility to give me headsup if I need to revise the 10 books after their big software update (and changing some of the sizes from the books, I heard) I have taken action to find out what’s up.
Maybe it displays “off” when you order them, or maybe they’ll still be okay.
Let’s find out.

In about two weeks I will know the answer, and if they do not come out okay, yes I will take them down.
At your own risk – like I said, they had a software update – you can buy my ten books here.
Or you can wait – but you may risk not seeing them again for a long time.
If the covers are off, I will take them down immediately, and redesign them to meet new software demands (and all books will become a second edition, first edition will no longer be available).
And this could take a while.

And the other thing I did today, was more of a mental thing.
I made my peace with it.
LS Harteveld the blogger, the online writer, is no longer here.
I will talk to you from the persona of real me and I will know LS Harteveld only through her work, much the same as you.
That was the mourning part.

From 2010-2020 I have really loved writing online, being LS Harteveld/ Lauren. But I have also been aware that the immediate exposure of the work, and with that the immediate coming to terms with it or accountability, was in a way counterproductive to writing.
Some things need secrecy.
The best things do, I think.

So although today was spent coming to terms with that, I know there is always hope.
And sometimes hope is a fairy who has not yet made her wish,
and who can turn a finite ending, into a very long sleep.

Even if that fairy, is you saving you from yourself.

~Suzanne
publisher of LS Harteveld

Books LS Harteveld/ Lauren

Lauren’s books are currently  still available at LULU
Disclaimer: Lulu has gone through a reorganization and covers do not display correctly. The spine of the book is displayed with the cover (after you ve clicked the description).
I have no idea how this plays out. I assume it will be fine, but I will not know until two weeks from now.
If they’re not alright, I will take all books offline and upload them later this year as second editions.

New books will also be added to Lulu, as sites are being curated.

coming soon: new books

1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2020
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- (Dutch)
5. ALL THE THINGS – unpublished work 2010 – 2020

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow this blog. The subscription button to this blog is on this page, probably on the right.
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Nederlands blog:
https://zegmaarlauren.com/