A Map Into Unknown | The Book Club day 1

Around my birthday, I experienced three weeks of prolific writing.
Yesterday, I collected all those posts, which I had written on Facebook.
I refer to the habit of writing without notifying your subscribers, without posting it to a blog, as “illegal blogging”.
It’s like a hall pass, it doesn’t count!
And from those collected posts, I created one official post.
A book I called
Demons and Daemons.
A Daemon is a creative force, a spirit, and we all know what demons are.
After harvesting all these “illegal” posts on Facebook, I wrote a new introductory post.
A first Chapter.
To recap what had happened, in these what seemed insane weeks.
And trying to give a helicopter view of what I had, almost inadvertently created;
A small book, a novella.
But also:
A journey through the deepest layers of my mind.

Pasting together all the pieces made me feel like Will’s mother in the series Stranger Things.
Her son, possessed by an evil entity, starts drawing what he can see inside of him, and once his mother realizes it are not individual drawings, but that they are like a puzzle;
His mother starts gluing them together.
Around the entire house, a structure, a map, is formed, from all those individual drawings.
Will has drawn a map of an unknown world.
A dark world, where few people have access to.
The world he currently lives in, with the entity possessing his mind.
In 21 days, I created such a map.
A map, into Unknown
Suzanne/ Lauren

The Book Club is my new diary, where we can read the novella Demons and Daemons (my previous post) together.
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Half July I started writing on Facebook.

Dark posts.
Incomprehensible posts, sometimes. 

Posts that became irrelevant because things worked out.
For example for my books; They all turned out fine.
For example for my websites: I decided to keep all my work online, and not remove 500 blog posts.
But underneath all the turmoil and the struggle, something else developed too.
Once you see it, you cannot unsee;
It was as if The Dark Side took over..
Just like Luke Skywalker who drew back to the island Ahch-To so that he (a Jedi) could no longer make the wrong decisions-
that’s how I tried to refrain from writing.
If only I could refrain from writing, my life would be better.
If only I could refrain from writing, the man or men in my life would want me again.
I would make money doing a normal job.
I would be happy and my entire life would be one big pink and rainbow colored unicorn universe.

And not the life of a writer, fighting dark forces;
A battle always on the edge of a knife.
If I could only refrain from writing, all would be well.
The demon, the evil power, and the daemon, the creative spirit or genius, are only one letter apart.
And from the two, only the word demon made it into our lexicon.
We all know of famous writers who have gone mad.
Even if you’re not a creator yourself, it must come as no surprise that a writer never knows if they’re going to make it back from the other side, anymore than a Jedi knows he will not die by the sword.
At the end of this collection of posts, which I have called Demons and Daemons, I refer to Stranger Things; The Netflix series about a parallel world called The Upside Down, where everything is like in the real world, but bad and very dark.
People get lost in there.
The risk to get lost into darkness, is not just upon entering the portal to a parallel universe.
It is also the fate of a writer.
You go into a fantasy world, and you don’t know if it’s the darkness of the Upside Down, a rainbow unicorn place, or a mixed bag like Alice in Wonderland.
Day after day;
You don’t know.
You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.
With regard to my love life, some things happened behind the scenes.
This year, I ve decided to quit online writing about my love life, so you will not find any of it here.
But I once wrote a post:
“It’s always about a man. And if it’s not about a man, it’s also about a man.”
In the three weeks I wrote Demons and Daemons, through my daily Facebook posts, I tried to keep my word and keep my love life out of it.
But since it’s always about a man, and even if it’s not about a man it’s about a man?
Trust me when I say that the best way to read it, is as one metaphor for my love life.
That as in business, as in love.
As in mental health, as in love.
And if I follow a topic and start writing, whether I end up in the Upside Down, the rainbow unicorn world, or in a world of mixed experiences just like Alice?
It’s all a reflection of the inner world.
Just as for many people the outer world, is a reflection of their inner world, the same thing is true for my writing.
If I write about my thoughts and experiences in the outer world, I still share with you my inner world.
And it’s still always about a man.
To me, the final diary entry, day 20 called “Committed”, is the moment I find my true love.
But whether he’s a Demon or a Daemon, I guess time will tell.
and Suzanne/ Lauren
Day 21, August 2, 2020

Chapter 2 of Demons and Daemons,
will be shared tomorrow,

in a new episode of The Book Club

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Books LS Harteveld/ Lauren

Lauren’s books are available at LULU
New books will also be added to Lulu, as sites are being curated.


I am Suzanne, the real name of Lauren Harteveld,
Lauren/ LS Harteveld was my second identity under which I wrote about sex, relationships, pop culture, from 2006 to 2020.
Lauren is now in 1995, so she will write offline for us.
Her first year 1994-1995 is available online:

coming soon: new books

1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2020
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
Blote Kont- (Dutch)
5. ALL THE THINGS – unpublished work 2010 – 2020

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Nederlands blog: