One of the first Tara Stiles videos 2008.
Rather it was a steep line downhill, which bounced back after a 72 hour low.
and I hope for all our sakes, this is the shortest email I ve ever written to you.
Because there is so much to say, attempting to actually explain myself is a lost cause to begin with.
Although I still stand by my decision to no longer focus on group classes, and can look back with compassion at my earlier attempt to try to switch to (also) teaching privates – I now see that taking this new yoga business out within months, because I failed to make it work, has had some unforeseen consequences:
Essentially, I lost myself.
Which is why I have chosen to become a private yoga teacher again, starting 17 April.
This is 16 years after teaching my first paid yoga class, the start of my career.
I ve already registered my yoga company, tomorrow night I have an appointment to take a look at a new yoga space.
I m going to teach under two different names:
My real name, where yoga will be tied to a childlike energy, like Fischer Price yoga! But it’s an energy of honesty, and vulnerability.
Instead of writing my, eh, Fischer Price yoga book!, I ve decided to share the schedules on my blog and create yoga videos to go along with it.
So I m curating the Dutch yoga book online and creating instructional videos, at the same time.
So Fischer Price yoga is under my real name.
As Lauren Harteveld however, yoga will not be Fischer Price at all, but linked to feeling your power as a woman.
I will support this with my Dutch LSH blog (the one I abandoned two weeks ago), and also tie this to my LSH YouTube channel and my work as a coach.
And I ve refound my love for Tara Stiles, whose work I started following around 2009.
The prime of my yoga career!
Either way, to sum it all up, I ve chosen this direction, and feel really good about it. This way yoga, and creativity (as a writer and YouTuber) can co-exist. Like they always have.
If I had followed the pretty delusional call to become successful at working in a real job (I will refer to this as my “savior fantasy” where I m saved from being an entrepreneur) my creativity would not have been provided for.
Here are the ways teaching yoga, has sustained and inspired my writing:
1. Yoga provided money, in other words, the means to write.
2. Yoga provided ample free time to write.
3. Yoga provided a topic to write about.
4. Yoga provided a reason to create, as all my Dutch content was linked to the yoga studio.
5. Yoga provided a reason to quit the desk work around 5
6. Yoga gave reason and meaning to the evenings, it provided much needed connection.
That is the main reason why my initial future dream job, on the payroll yet working from home with cats, is no longer my dream job at all.
I want to go out into the world and do something!
But unsurprisingly, I want it exactly on my terms. lol Yoga gave that.
2, 3 classes a day max.
So all in all, I started realizing that I missed the structure yoga had given me.
I have chosen to be a yoga teacher again, a private one. And a coach, but I already had that.
And if I have to take another job, because it’s not providing an income, than I will do that.
But I can’t NOT be a yoga teacher. Just like I can’t NOT be a writer (really)
And just like I can’t NOT do marketing, because I love that too.
Marketing = also my creative expression.
So being an entrepreneur, being a yoga teacher, and being a writer, are all intimately connected.
I quit writing diaries, personal things, a few weeks back. Because it was driving me mad.
But do you remember the book on consent play, in January?
The one that derailed my entire life?
By now I m convinced that didn’t have anything to do with the topic, as I originally assumed. It was because being a writer, without the yoga and the entrepreneurship, is painful.
And no joy at all.
The only way to restore writing, and making videos too, is by acknowledging that I don’t have a choice to become a successful business person, or Vice for someone else.
That was just a dream. (of being saved from myself)
This is who I am: An entrepreneur, a yoga teacher, a creator.
In no particular order, as long as it’s ALL of it.
Follow the marshmallows. *
Zeg maar Lauren
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It was 2011 I think, and it lasted for 21 weeks!
It’s a weekly challenge, based on the book Slim Calm Sexy Yoga
This was also the first yoga blog I ever had.
I m going to retrieve that diary, and their schedules, and reboot this home yoga challenge for this site.
*) Follow the marshmallows is based on the idea that the most likely way God will show you your path, is by making it look urgent and/or very appealing.
You will feel an urge, a rush of energy, a pull towards it!
Like wanting to pick up teaching yoga 😉
It will actually require effort to not do it, to restrain yourself.
Don’t restrain, eat the marshmallow. And more likely than not, the second marshmallow will appear immediately after.
My diaries en erotica are available at
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coming soon: new books
1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2019
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- verhalen over mannen, macht en dagjes uit (Dutch)
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