This is a letter to my creativity coach Sara
Before our call I always give her a headsup.
But since everybody seems to be using that term nowadays, and on things that have absolutely nothing to do with play and are in fact more of the anti-play or dead-serious or boring-as-f book, I reckoned at least I would TRY to make it inspiring and fun!
And make a point there is a difference between serious playbooks and taking play seriously!
So hail to you, and I m absolutely thrilled you have been coaching me for all these years.*
But it’s broader than that, I know it’s a pattern.
There are people to whom sexuality comes so easily, who are fearless of consequence and are just IN it! They are sexual spiritual naturals, completely in the now.
Which then of course results in complications because their partners want to claim that treasure for themselves!
So it’s not that they don’t have their own challenges in life.
That’s how they get chased.
Just because it’s sex no one acknowledges there is a great inequality, and they’re claiming something that does not belong to them.
And I know, because I also chased the fortunate ones. Maybe even more deliberate because I knew what to look for and what to secure.
Instead of learning how to generate sexual wealth to fill my own pockets.
Not to chase a sexual prince to first rob him and then beg him to stay so I can rob him more in the future!
That is not how this works.
It means we have all four vaccines rotating, but in very small quantities and you have to do your absolute utmost best to get your hands on one, and that is AFTER your year of birth has been opened up for application!
It feels I m carrying my panties in a public place. On my head.
And then you get four options on three locations at a minimum of an hour door to door public transportation of your house.
Don’t book online!
Only losers get vaccinated now, Sara.
Like it should.
I want my summer of love!
And therefor the social pressure and the fact that every social interaction can cost you 5 days of quarantine and two Covid test, also still persists;
And despite the fact that infections are on the rise in Britain, when that country is well under way to becoming fully vaxed.
Stopped with everything that was a great idea in theory
Like today, I was also looking forward to do a financial project – more on that later.
But I just couldn’t!
This letter to you just wanted to be written and the words and sentences kept going on in my head.
In particular in the field of non-monogamous relationships, just try to shut me up about it!
I even came up with a title for a book I could write in a weekend flat, if I wanted to.
It would be called:
Reclaim your sexual integrity by quitting monogamy today!
The playbook to, reclaim your sexual integrity by quitting monogamy today!
But it is a story of privilege!
A story of “if all things in your life went super-well and then you skip getting kids and go all-in your sexuality and rock that shit!”.
Sure, then why in the flying fuck would you choose monogamy?
And not seldom, monogamy is one of the few ways the more vulnerable partner is protected. Monogamy is often the only thing that shields relationships from being handed down to brutal capitalism where the winner takes all.
It is where the cards that have been in possession of the same people ever since high school, are suddenly worthless and the rules of the game have changed.
But when we are all free to get up in the morning, and do whatever the fuck we want and still thrive socially and economically?
I ll be happy to write the book.
But there is a reason things are as they are.
the same way I think self-improvement doesn’t work.
Stop fucking messing with them.
They ve drained me of time, energy, and notebooks because I took countless new ones hoping better stationary would do the trick,
Those projects too will be eliminated.
– topics that excite me which do not open a can of social economic worms
I can only do one (1!) thing a day which means many days will suck balls because I can’t blog
A blog post takes me three hours but it is usually closer to five.
Six is no exception and seven or eight also happen…
Sometimes it is less than 3 hours, but I never know when that is, so there is no real way of taking advantage of that.
However, I have thought to tackle this by the doing a little each day.
The most notable ones were, and I m not going to say “the best ideas were” because they were terrible ideas:
1 30 minutes of book publishing each day
2 30 minutes daily of sorting out correspondence and tax statuses regarding my former business
And something I had high hopes for until I started writing this email and the hours are just pouring itself in here. So now I know this is out of the question as well:
idea 3: blogging each morning and then do tasks 1 or 2 for a few hours later that day
Not going to work Sara. None of it.
Even in these final months of chosen Covid confinement, I spend hours every day going out, exercising, doing yoga, making smaller social media updates.
There are no two times X hours in a day.
There is ONE X hours in a day, where X is however long the task will take.
And the rest magically disappears into the abyss.
A few weeks ago I worked for days archiving and displaying all my notebooks, agendas and diaries (the last ones stayed in my filing cabinet).
It were the most satisfactory days ever! It felt like a holiday, and I came out entirely rejuvenated.
That is the way I want to sort out my finance, including that correspondence I mentioned.
I want to do the final edit of my first new book, which I ve got here in test copy, but I want to review and reupload and order a new test copy.
Second book, same story; ONE day!
Any project I do: One day Sara.
Or two days maximum, a weekend.
But out with the 30 minutes this, 30 minutes that, and doubling down on multiple hour tasks a day.
They have driven me mad!
Lauren Harteveld doesn’t talk
Ever since I stopped being a yoga teacher and work as a writer under both my names, things have gotten more complicated in the blog, book and ideas department.
Under which name should something be published?
So I ve come back to a decision I made a while ago, but this time it’s starting to get ingrained:
If I m willing to speak publicly about it, it goes under my real name.
But if I want to write it yet don’t want to talk about it, like all that high-handed monogamy stuff but also all my diary entries in particular the ones with sex, like yesterday’s blogpost here on the blog by Lauren 1996;
then it stays here.
Lauren Harteveld is the candid one.
The daring one.
But she writes and then she leaves. For 1996 😉
It’s writing only.
And then, finally, my summer of love.
Were you worried, that I forgot?
My Real Name moves to 1996 as well
Alterego Lauren Harteveld has lived there since 2019:
1994 it was at the time.
But now it’s time for my real name to move back in time as well.
You miss so much context. There is no context!
So Lauren Harteveld moved back to 1994 (in 2019, it’s 1996 now).
And I ve now rechosen that.
She will get to expand her work, her world, and her voice to everything I have to offer her under my real name.
– types on her computer as often as she can.
– plays cd’s on her cd player next to it.
– writes her diary for this site
– writes her pieces on Bon Jovi and art on her other site
– and she writes her friends Sara and the bootleg trader Nikki, here on this
* insert vegetable emojis *
An unexamined life is not worth living
My diaries are available at LULU
New books will be added.