This is a letter to my creativity coach Sara
Before our call I always give her a headsup..
Dear Sara,
I ve linked my creativity to sex before.
And yet, the moment I had to decide if I wanted to go all in on that, I don’t think I even took it into consideration as a reason to do it.
In fact, it wasn’t even to gain anything.
It wasn’t even to gain sex!
And yet, the moment I had to decide if I wanted to go all in on that, I don’t think I even took it into consideration as a reason to do it.
In fact, it wasn’t even to gain anything.
It wasn’t even to gain sex!
.
The reason I went for it, and see myself making this same choice over and over again in the future, the choice to take sex with someone you’re attracted to when the moment arises and to not wait for perfect circumstances, was because I saw very clearly where the other path was leading.
The path of caution.
Reason.
Fear.
Fear.
.
To dying without properly living your life.
A concept we should all be familiar with by now, since we’ve all thrown away the past 12 months to self-imprisonment.
A concept we should all be familiar with by now, since we’ve all thrown away the past 12 months to self-imprisonment.
After 2020 the fact that avoiding risks and waiting for better circumstances before you live your life comes at a price; Is KNOWN.
.
The illusion that risk can be avoided, like you can choose to not go into a roller coaster, is gone.
The illusion that risk can be avoided, like you can choose to not go into a roller coaster, is gone.
.
After a year of letting the loneliness and the despair seep into our healthy bones, we all realize we need more than just health.
After a year of letting the loneliness and the despair seep into our healthy bones, we all realize we need more than just health.
More than being safe.
A life well lived tastes so sweet, because it always has that pinch of danger and mortality.
.
But I didn’t think it through that deeply.
Like I said, it was the knowledge that if I would go with fear – fear of Covid, fear of being used, fear of being judged – I would be on the run forever.
My life would get smaller.
Always.
Like I said, it was the knowledge that if I would go with fear – fear of Covid, fear of being used, fear of being judged – I would be on the run forever.
My life would get smaller.
Always.
.
If I kept assessing now and forever more how “okay” it was to have sex?
I would perpetuate being in the same claws the entire world has been in, since March 2020.
I would become one of those people whose life had ended but with a few decades to go before I was actually dead.
I would perpetuate being in the same claws the entire world has been in, since March 2020.
I would become one of those people whose life had ended but with a few decades to go before I was actually dead.
.
THAT is why I chose sex.
To avoid death on a spiritual, God-given plane where my life had purpose.
To avoid death on a spiritual, God-given plane where my life had purpose.
My motives were spiritual, philosophical, and deeply personal.
.
But it paid off a hundred fold.
.
I wrote chapter after chapter for Lauren 1996.
Three blogposts on this blog, but there are three posts on my Facebook page, which I still have got to bundle up.
And under my real name, I started a business channel for which I ve already filmed three videos. I wrote five articles, three related to Bon Jovi and two on my art and philosophy blog.
Three blogposts on this blog, but there are three posts on my Facebook page, which I still have got to bundle up.
And under my real name, I started a business channel for which I ve already filmed three videos. I wrote five articles, three related to Bon Jovi and two on my art and philosophy blog.
And tomorrow I am starting my biggest art project to date.
It’s called daily Bon Jovi yoga. And it’s just that. After saying goodbye permanently to teaching yoga and deciding I am not going to reinvent yoga to Rock Star Yoga.
The answer to everything I knew was meant for me, yoga wise, and yet it was never what I thought it was, was so simple!
And it was literally on my vision board for 2021.
I had two words up there (only two): “Bon Jovi” on the top-left. And “Yoga” on the top-right.
It’s called daily Bon Jovi yoga. And it’s just that. After saying goodbye permanently to teaching yoga and deciding I am not going to reinvent yoga to Rock Star Yoga.
The answer to everything I knew was meant for me, yoga wise, and yet it was never what I thought it was, was so simple!
And it was literally on my vision board for 2021.
I had two words up there (only two): “Bon Jovi” on the top-left. And “Yoga” on the top-right.
“Bon Jovi Yoga”
.
And last year I “got” three signs from God about what my purpose was. And the second one was “Yoga is my art”.
I even got that one on repeat, every time I went to bed asking for a sign what on earth I was supposed to “do”, make money from, or just what my purpose was.
The answer when I woke up was always the same:
Yoga.
And then I would be excited and have another go at it, and then it would all turn to dust, slip through my fingers, for a moment I would be okay having parted with it;
Until the cycle of accidentally getting inspired or me asking God for clues, began again.
I even got that one on repeat, every time I went to bed asking for a sign what on earth I was supposed to “do”, make money from, or just what my purpose was.
The answer when I woke up was always the same:
Yoga.
And then I would be excited and have another go at it, and then it would all turn to dust, slip through my fingers, for a moment I would be okay having parted with it;
Until the cycle of accidentally getting inspired or me asking God for clues, began again.
.
So “Yoga is my art” and “Bon Jovi yoga” means;
My art is to do Bon Jovi yoga.
DO.
Not teach, not reinvent, not show, not share (as in video, or anything where I have to “show up in spandex”; Something I swore I would never do ever again).
My art is to do Bon Jovi yoga.
DO.
Not teach, not reinvent, not show, not share (as in video, or anything where I have to “show up in spandex”; Something I swore I would never do ever again).
Every day, starting tomorrow, and I do this under my real name;
Everyday, I do Bon Jovi yoga.
Make a tweet and a facebook post, mentioning the album or concert I used.
Everyday, I do Bon Jovi yoga.
Make a tweet and a facebook post, mentioning the album or concert I used.
The end.
.
I ve also claimed a domain, and have so many stories to tell about this project Bon Jovi Yoga. My mind is overflowing with ideas and insights.
So I will write a lot!
But the art itself is in the doing;
Do one cd of Bon Jovi Yoga a day.
So I will write a lot!
But the art itself is in the doing;
Do one cd of Bon Jovi Yoga a day.
Will do it to the day I die.
.
It feels so enormously powerful. I m consciously saying goodbye to the first half of my life, without that yoga without that art.
Feeling grateful I had it.
But I feel the absolute thrill and excitement of knowing this is it!
Feeling grateful I had it.
But I feel the absolute thrill and excitement of knowing this is it!
.
Yoga really IS my art.
Just not the way I thought, because I don’t change yoga itself into art.
I am the art.
Just not the way I thought, because I don’t change yoga itself into art.
I am the art.
.
One of the trainings I took from Katrina Ruth, I remember her words so vividly, was that you should find the thing, the habit, the “business”, that is an activity that you just love to do every day.
That you’re really like: “OF COURSE I want to do this for the rest of my life!!”
That you’re really like: “OF COURSE I want to do this for the rest of my life!!”
.
Well; Of course!
If doing Bon Jovi yoga every day would be the only art that I would ever be allowed to do, I would die fulfilled.
Even if I could not write about it.
Even if I could not share it on Twitter or Facebook, so then technically it would only exist as an energy but it would not be known;
Even then I would be fulfilled.
If doing Bon Jovi yoga every day would be the only art that I would ever be allowed to do, I would die fulfilled.
Even if I could not write about it.
Even if I could not share it on Twitter or Facebook, so then technically it would only exist as an energy but it would not be known;
Even then I would be fulfilled.
.
I feel so light and happy and boy! Who would have thought my decision to have sex would have such far reaching results!
.
It was also the best sex I ever had in my life.
Obviously.
Obviously.
.
~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living
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LS Harteveld 