We were never meant to be tamed

**  I think I should put a trigger warning on this post….
Let’s put it this way; This blogpost is for those of you who accept nothing but the highest standard of personal freedom,

for themselves and others.**

This post was originally supposed to have a different title. Be about a different thing. A thing that made me angry, and on which I held a ton of opinions.

How someone “testing” their partner by bringing up the hypothetical scenario of cheating, is such a great way to see where their loyalty lies and how quickly they are willing to make your whole relationship about being right (they).
And being wrong (you).
How all feelings, your whole history, your entire future together, how the depth of your relationship could all be distilled into:

“You are a bad person because you’re having sex with someone else.”
In a blink of an eye.

How easily you could be at:
I am going to speak badly of you
Divorce you.
Or even hit the lows of:
“I am going to take revenge on you.”

If you would ask the hypothetical question on your partner’s well thought through balanced view on the subject.

And in reply I’d say: “Wow.”

And we all know that a woman saying “Wow” is the worst thing anyone can bring onto himself.

And I would say “Wow” even if their “if you love me you don’t do that” message was delivered in the most thoughtful, non-aggressive way imaginable.
I would flip that thing right back at them saying in the most thoughtful, non-aggressive way imaginable:

“I’m glad I know this. Before I waste the rest of my life with you.”

Yes, I am afraid that my answer would have been somewhere along those lines.

Until, when looking for a Carrie Bradshaw picture to go with this blog post, I stumbled on this quote about wild women.
And wild men.

Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed.
Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.
-Carrie Bradshaw

And I thought: “That’s the whole thing in a nutshell.”
Wild women and wild men should pair up.
As well as the domestic ones.
Problems only rise when we start cross breeding.

Personally, no, I am not a cheater. Yet if I do want to;
Kiss that man.
Fall in love.
Have that encounter.
Cross that line.
I want a partner who can say:
“I love everything about you. Including the parts that hurt me. “
And I would answer:
“That’s how much I love you too.”

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

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Books LS Harteveld/ Lauren

Lauren’s books are available at LULU
New books will also be added to Lulu, as sites are being curated.

ABOUT ME 2020 update

I am Suzanne, the real name of Lauren Harteveld,
Lauren/ LS Harteveld was my second identity under which I wrote about sex, relationships, pop culture, from 2006 to 2020.
Lauren is now in 1995, so she will write offline for us.
Her first year 1994-1995:
Originally Lauren was going to write offline in 1995, but since I don’t have a sex life anymore, there is no reason for such discretion. 

coming soon: new books

1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2020
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
Blote Kont- (Dutch)
5. ALL THE THINGS – unpublished work 2010 – 2020

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow this blog. The subscription button to this blog is on this page, probably on the right.
Nederlands blog:


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