Intense and Unsettling

Last Tuesday I had a conversation with my creativity coach Sara
and it came to how creativity operates in an entirely different way than regular economic exchange.
As a creative you create what you feel called to do.
And then you sell it, or you don’t.
In regular businesses, you create what you can sell.
.
Being creative is a blessing, it is fulfilling, satisfying.
Sexy!
But it is also a curse, addictive and in all likeliness an economic sin.
Your art not just exists outside of existing economic structures:
It also has the power to disrupt it.
.
And if you’re any good at what you do:
It will.
.
A great artist is someone who immediately wakes you up.
Or their work is.
But it’s not a place where you feel all comfortable and fuzzy.
.
So there is that:
The realization that my purpose work takes place outside of society.
And that in all likeliness, it will always place me outside of it as well.
.
But there was also another lesson I learned, and it was something that I think many clients (of Sara) would have found an uncomfortable observation by her.
Yet I totally loved it….
.
We were talking about personal branding, a topic that rarely comes up because I no longer see my creativity as something I necessarily sell.
But we touched on personal branding because I confessed to Sara that I would love to pick up coaching and teaching yoga again;
But was held back so much by this realization that there is something vastly different about me, compared to what someone expects from a coach or a yoga teacher.
.
This something within me kept getting in the way of being able to offer my services.
I wasn’t able to communicate what it was I had to offer, and kept getting stuck in the standard image of a coach or yoga teacher.
That’s when Sara talked about personal branding. And she spoke the words:
“I think your personal brand is INTENSE and UNSETTLING.”

.
Wow.
Yes!
YES IT IS!
.
I once had someone tell me how people immediately felt better when they saw them. That a calm and peaceful mood struck them, where everything was okay, just from being in the presence of this person.
.
I immediately shot back:
“I have THE EXACT OPPOSITE effect on people!”.

Deep fears, coming back to haunt.
Dreams that were lost, suddenly resurfacing.
Insecurities, which were carefully contained for years, suddenly omnipresent.
.
But also: Big and powerful breakthroughs happening in seconds.
.
But also: For the first time seeing their own strength mirrored.
.
But also: A meeting of souls.
.
But also: Receiving clarity and ownership over your life.
.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t see what I had to offer the world, it was that I kept getting stuck in not being able to word it.
.
INTENSE and UNSETTLING

Bingo.

~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

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