Today I was at The Fuzz, and a friend took this picture of me.
We were talking about me kind-of aspiring getting a real job, but then not-really.
Or really not.
Me wasting an hour writing an email for a job as a host/spokes person, then deleting it, and deciding that I just wasn’t ready.
Not for the normal jobs.
You see, the problem is, that I ve just reestablished my yoga business.
My rebooted career as a private yoga teacher, starts tomorrow.
Last week was fully dedicated to recent cat developments; After stay-over cat K, I will have two new permanent feline residents Z and F!
So I haven’t done any of the marketing activities I thought I would do.
But yeah! I AM A YOGA TEACHER AGAIN!!
Then why am I also looking for a job?
Why am I so NOT backing myself on this one?
It disgusted me, it really did. But the photo also illustrated to me, what I had failed to see: That I was overtaxing a side of me, that was actually really small.
See that kitty in the right bottom corner?
That is my monetizable side.
That is the caring, loving, child-like emphatic side. The popular side, also.
The little kitty is what I am under my real name.
Now, see the massive skull, towering over me?
That’s my inner world.
The me under my pen name, Lauren Harteveld. This is far from a mask: this is the real me.
The writer, the thinker, the rebel, the wise. The real me is a mighty ally but an even mightier foe. The one who defies all danger because she knows death and she is not afraid of it.
The only thing that keeps me from it, are my cats, which is why I came dangerously close to death in 2018.
So if there is anything within me, of which I ve got plenty, and that I can monetize without giving away anything I have a scarcity of, it’s her.
With my private yoga practice, I m already sharing the little kitty side of me.
The only thing I ve got in spades, is the real me.
An unexamined life is not worth living
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