A few days ago I finally, FINALLY, knew the answer to a question a coach I follow, Katrina Ruth, has proposed in
her free videos,
and in paid programs many, many times.
She asks you:
“If you had a megaphone, thousands of people were listening, and you had one minute, what would you tell them?
What is the ONE MESSAGE you would like to share with the world?”
I cast aside my fundamental doubt if I will ever be a messenger, or if I could pretend even for a minute I have just one message, and bravely connected with the more hopeful signs I had something to say.
Such as my annoyance with people walking around half-dead, while getting things done, and being successful;
My certainty that they were ultimately going the wrong way, and would hit a brick wall someday;
And my absolute rage that no one was warning them, not even giving a friendly nudge. They were left to their own devices possibly racing towards their burnout, existential crisis or whatever it is that you may crash upon if you go that fast without first making the conscious choice to do so;
Combining all those things, I knew what I would yell;
YOU MUST WAKE UP AND FIND YOUR PURPOSE
And this was not just for the workaholics, the very successful among us. It was also for everybody who thought life was holding them back because of no partner, no money, no job, illness and so on.
It was for anyone who thought things were complicated or stressful. Because life was actually very simple.
Either you had a purpose and knew what you were doing.
Or you didn’t.
So when I had finally found my message, after following Katrina Ruth for over two years, I was so delighted. And I knew this message (You must wake up and find your purpose) had been the reason why I myself had crashed into a brick wall after 15 years of teaching yoga.
Well, it wasn’t just due to not being on purpose, that I had dropped out of teaching yoga. It was also no longer offering a sustainable income, so other rewards of the work became more important.
And teaching yoga classes started to feel superficial and more importantly; not helpful at all.
If you didn’t know your purpose, a tensed up body and stress were merely the outer expressions of that. And IF they could be relieved with yoga, then you still wouldn’t find your purpose because you would be getting way too comfortable.
I was starting to feel yoga was facilitating people to stay without purpose, by taking the sharpest edges off their suffering. We, yoga teachers, were the curling parents of self-help;
We were smoothing out the path before them.
So it wasn’t because I didn’t want to help people. On the contrary! I really wanted to help people, but I felt yoga was offering fake solutions which would ultimately keep you asleep your whole life if I did my work right.
So when I found my message as a writer –
You must wake up and find your purpose!
– I didn’t feel any doubt that it was the right message.
Not until I was studying and found something peculiar:
That “waking up” coming from me, is a call to first and foremost wake up in your inner world.
Not in the real world!
This insight came after watching YouTube videos and reading about my new Myers-Briggs type. It was (unfortunately) my second round of studying.
The first, wrong round of studying had turned out to be a detour that had pulled me offtrack for months. The mistake had been based on taking this Meyers-Briggs personality test. It came up with the result that I was an ENFP, with E standing for extrovert.
Right off the bat, the E (extrovert) felt a bit fishy to me. And I didn’t recognize myself in any of the famous ENFP-ers. But I took the result seriously and I gave a positive spin on things! Because my newly found “E” actually meant that I would be able to work in the real world!
How cool is that?!
And without wanting to kill myself at the idea of being around people and work within an organization or a company. I was normal! Employable! Horay!
So after I took second Meyers-Briggs test from a YouTuber I like, Eric Thor, and he said INFP – “I” standing for Introvert- I was both shocked and relieved at the same time.
Shocked, that the test came back with a different result.
Especially after I spent so much type studying the ENFP type. But I considered it my own fault too, since I had failed to do a second test immediately.
I had taken a huge risk having so much faith ENFP was the right type, probably because they’re so optimistic and fun to be around with. Will Smith and the character of Ron Weasley from Harry Potter are both ENFP’s:
They don’t make the impression they will ever get lost in overthinking things. Such an appealing thought, that under my tormented, artistic soul, there was this bright, almost Pooh-like personality, who was able to keep things simple.
So I did take responsibility for clinging onto the ENFP result.
All the wasted time studying the ENFP, and the shock after taking Eric Thor’s test, were my own fault.
But when I started from scratch, now reading about the INFP type, it was like coming home.
J.R.R. Tolkien was an INFP, and so were his Lord of the Rings characters Frodo, Gollem, Faramir and Arwen. All people with a rich inner world and values which were deeply internalized. None of these characters could be swayed by outer expectations, nor could they escape their inner sense of duty.
J.K. Rowling is an INFP and so is her wonderful Harry Potter character Luna Lovegood! A strange girl, who can see things in the outside world no one can. And to whom her inner world is far more real than the outer.
But although Luna was wonderful, in general, INFP’s were not the people I looked up to, or aspired to be.
In fact I hated the Frodo story line.
I was the one suggesting the entire Lord of the Rings saga, was best watched skipping all the scenes that just consisted of Frodo and Sam.
Now I see why that was:
Because I would be that no-fun-to-be-around with dutiful sucker who would sacrifice himself going to Mordor to throw that ring into Mount Doom. I would even be the one person The Ring would not have power over because just like Frodo, I answered to my inner-code only.
I only cared about doing what I needed to do, not about worldly power.
On a side note: This blog is called 7-figure Rock Star Writer.
And I sometimes wonder if anyone really thinks that’s me being blind with ambition? Well, no. Obviously. My aim to becoming the first Dutch 7-Figure Rock Star Writer, is to direct my inner world towards something.
I do not believe something like that, can even be directly created in the outer, “real” world. It needs to be created inside.
That’s why I think I can do it, and that’s also why I set it up: As the basis for who I AM. Not as something that provided guidelines, 7 step plans, or strategies on what to do in the real world. I m not saying I m not doing anything. I obviously am.
But ultimately me BEING a 7-Figure Rock Star Writer in my inner world, will precede me being that in the outer.
At the end of The Lord of The Rings, Frodo writes everything in a book. He is a writer too. He was driven by his sense of duty, when he offered to be the one taking The Ring to Mordor.
But afterwards he processed it by writing it down.
And with that he behaved just like any INFP will. Just like I will write down my journey of becoming the first 7-Figure Rock Star writer, and just like I have previously written about my journey to becoming the ultimate mistress.
Anyway, I m drifting off badly.
Where was I?
Oh I know, the warm bath of finding all the other INFP’s.
And it were not people I had studied in depth or anything. For example: Johnny Depp is an INFP. I like him a lot, but I have been a fan of his way more sunny colleague Brad Pitt.
Broody and complicated Johnny Depp was too close to home.
Just like I didn’t like Frodo; because I knew I too, would dutifully go to Mordor and save mankind. All the while secretly wishing that I was not such as complex character, and that I was more like my lighthearted friend and travel companion Samwise Gamgee.
Who brought a box of salt, so that they would always have some nice seasoning with their food and to remind them of home.
Looking back, I can even see how my complicated INFP personality has influenced my love life.
How we ve clashed whenever the man was motivated by logic or money.
How we’ve made each other miserable when he was just as flaky and unstable as me.
And how I still immediately relax in the company of a man who believes food is the most important source of joy. Way more than sex. I think men who prioritize sex are scary. But a man who cooks simple, honest food – nothing from packages or jars – will immediately win my heart.
So studying my INFP type, I discovered many things.
And I intended to write this blog post about these discoveries. And how they were going to help me in this new phase of being a writer, publishing my own books. To see it as a quest!
Until this morning, when I suddenly realized:
“OMG! Now my slogan is ALL wrong!”
The significance of my inner world, made “You must wake up and find your purpose” sound way too, well, worldly. Because it could be interpreted, as me wanting to wake up people who are asleep in the way society thinks “asleep” means:
Unemployed, troubled, without goals, netflixing the day away.
Although much can be said about that, that is definitely NOT the type of asleep I am talking about! In fact, I think someone “wasting” his or her life as a couch potato is way better off than the people I am waking up.
I heard there was this pilot with baseline income in Iceland (or Finland?). Anyway, it was concluded it had been unsuccessful, because there were still a lot of people who didn’t undertake anything. They were not “making” anything of their lives. Now I m not saying that if these people are depressed, or unhappy, that they should not be helped.
They deserve to be helped, if they want to.
But I was in shock when I heard that people not doing anything, were a reason to not support baseline income. Because the real problem, in my opinion is;
The people who ARE doing something!
But they’re running around, ticking things of their lists; They’re productive, and they’re being successful in every way. But do you know what they would do if The Ring came by?
They’d say: “I m sorry! I m too BUSY!”
The Netflixers on the other hand, are way more likely rise above themselves and step out the door to take the damn thing to Mordor to destroy it.
So when I say:
YOU MUST WAKE UP AND FIND YOUR PURPOSE
I don’t mean, you should come of the couch, out of your own bubble, and start living your life.
On the contrary.
Stop DOING all those things, you think you have to do. Stop figuring out, the things you think you need to figure out. And get on the couch, retreat to your bubble, visit your inner world.
And figure out why you are here on this earth.
What is the impossible task, no one else can do?
Because if you do not find a way, no one will.
But that message is not nearly as catchy as YOU MUST WAKE UP AND FIND YOUR PURPOSE
So maybe in the end I was right, and I m not cut out to do any megaphone exercises. Because my message would be to stop listening to what other people shout through megaphones, or YELL IN CAPITALS. To stop listening to any advice anyone has ever given you.
And to start listening within.
An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living
About this blog
You must NOT wake up to find The One Ring, your purpose, your fate, your LIFE is Chapter 31 of my diary 7-figure Rock Star Writer
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With a little help from the Lord, I will now go all in on publishing my new books:
1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2018
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- verhalen over mannen, macht en dagjes uit (Dutch)
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