Oh finally, she lets me speak?    
Now that LS Harteveld has stopped writing her diary because due to recent events, there was just no way she could keep sharing her love life without jeopardizing the secret identity of her lover?      
Or perhaps future lovers, plural.             
Because whoever believed men could restrain themselves, right?
I certainly don’t.            

What a woman wants a woman gets. Even when she pulls herself out of the erotically charged equation, God will find a way to put the two of you together.             
Or the three of you.       
So that he or she can lean back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the show of you seeing Life take over your perfectly rationalized way out of passion. 
When was that ever going to work.         

We’re talking about the second strongest power in the human body.
The only thing stronger than sexual power, is your ability to kill and commit monstrous crimes (or are they really?) in order to stay alive.
Perhaps this rules vegans out from being successful cheaters.     
I’ve never met a vegan with a mistress, so I wouldn’t know. But if you want to have a mistress and enjoy it? You must be able put your will to live above that of someone else – before you can put your own pleasure over someone else’s jealousy.            
And to not be consumed by guilt, afterwards.     

But being vegan or otherwise overly responsible is really not the only sign your husband is NOT a cheater.         
That is the insane thing; When women meet me, they immediately assume I’m after their man, married men in general. Or that I am against the entire system of marriage.      
Not true.           

First of all, the system of marriage works brilliantly as an economic and emotional treaty where you can accomplish way more things as a team than you can on your own.    
Depending on your economic and emotional needs and wants, you will be susceptible to the idea of joining forces.
Problems arise when one of the two parties thinks they will have bigger benefits (again whether economically or emotionally) if they team up with someone else.   
Then a mistress-cheater situation can exist as stepping stone to a new marriage.
Although I am a mistress, this situation is not my territory.         

These mistresses, who are after a monogamous relationship with this man, should be the threatening ones, the homewreckers.        
It are messy, temporary situations where a man is involved with two women who both want a serious monogamous relationship with him. It makes sense that in this setup the last one joining a.k.a. the mistress, has to be the enemy.

And yet? Ironically?      
I think that although these women are threatening to existing relationships, I feel that they are not the ones that have given mistresses a bad name.     
These homewreckers are not what scares married women, because they are after the same thing they once were.  It’s hard not to sympathize with them at some level.        

No, what triggers women is that I, a mistress, do not prey on their husband. That I will “only” be the one he has the best sex of his life with, and there isn’t a goddamn thing they can do about it.   

Let’s assume I’m right. 
That it is the “real” mistress that infuriates them, and not the one by default.
Then my existence is irrelevant for 99.9% of the marriages, because most husbands are unfit to have a mistress. They’re not interested nor capable of investing that much time and wooing, not in risking their entire life and marriage, and so on.     

Statistically speaking, there is no reason for married women to get upset about real mistresses like me.
Because most men can’t be bothered, or they don’t have the confidence.
And this is great news because no mistress can turn your man into someone who goes out there, takes life by the balls, and spontaneously starts to play chess like a Pro, on two different boards at the same time. 
It’s just not possible.     

If you’re a married woman, and you’re reading this, and you are wondering if your husband would, could, has? Then I have fantastic news.
Because either he didn’t.            
OR
He did and therefor belongs to the one percent within the one percent who can actually pull that off. Which makes him a great catch in his own right.             
HOWEVER  – and this is important – IF you think your relationship has gone from bad to worse a long time ago, and he’s not giving you attention, and things are sour?!           
Then please; Address those issues in their own right.      
Go save your marriage, get therapy, have a heart to heart, but leave cheating out of it. Either he is or he isn’t, it is really none of your business. In particular if your marriage has not been doing well.
Make sure it starts doing well again, or make a decision to leave him.

Him cheating can exist within a great marriage.
And him being faithful doesn’t necessarily make a good husband.

I’ve already talked too long. What can I say? Few will let me talk, and my frustration just bubbles up from inside of me.    
Maybe that’s something I can close with:            
Frustration is very unsexy and toxic. And it’s what happens if you focus on the stuff that you can’t control.        
Like me.

~The Mistress

The Mistress Speaks has been published in 2021.
You can find her here in the bookstore.

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about “GLOW-UP 2026”

In January, Google has started pushing my old posts.
Unfortunately, my website was one of many casualties of WordPress Gugenheim software updates.
Meaning the layout of this post was completely destroyed and none of the new visitors was able to read it.

Therefor I have decided to run by all my old posts, starting with the ones currently in rotation, and give them a well-deserved update that will do what glow-ups are supposed to do;
Make them better.

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