Lucky Star

Lauren has opened up her palace to take care of a cat, M.
Who doesn’t want to be there.
But despite Lauren’s plea, M’s daddies refuse to pick up their stressed out gayby:
“Hon’, any midwife can tell you: Just carry on with your life as usual.”

I got completely stressed out from M not wanting to have anything to do with me. She had been a perfectly social cat when her daddies were still here.
And she had made daily dramas at home, for having to share her living space with male cats. But now that she was here she acted as if she’d been left with the witch from hell.
I decided I needed a nap.
Just as I was about to fall asleep, after a little fiddling with my phone, M crawled from underneath the bed, jumped on it, and stared at me with me pale light-green eyes.
M is a grey cat, but the official colour is either “blue” or “lilac”. She’s a beautiful Ragdoll with long hair and a round face.
Her full name means something like furry little creature.
Which is about accurate, except that Ragdolls are large. And M is overweight because she has been stress eating.
So she is by no means small.
It’s not the primary goal to let her lose weight, but it is expected that she will, now that she’s got a place to herself.
I was surprised that after 24 hours, M had apparently given up distrusting me, and was ready to start anew.
I petted the silky fur and started talking to her.
And tears started running down my face.
This was the first time since Max had died, that I had a cat in my bed.
M and Max shared the same soft hair.
I took my camera and shot a video of me and M cuddling, and sent it to my friends. They both responded independently from each other:
“Oh my God! She looks totally stressed out! We’re coming to get her immediately!”
Followed by laughing smileys with tears.
M however turned out to be a real diva, in the sense that she responded strongly to:
Me turning on my other side;
Or standing up;
Or opening the balcony door.
And just when I decided that I was going to stick to my guns and not tiptoe around the house, and clean the rug where she had been hiding under my antique bed, we had what will go down as Vacuum Gate.
I wanted to clean the rug in the corner she had been hiding.
She was presumably on the kitty litter box, because that was where I had last seen her.
And I had closed the bedroom door, assuming I was keeping her out.
I pulled the bed from the wall, and vacuumed the carpet, 
and then pushed the bed back AND SHE CAME OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE BED!
That wasn’t good.
Now I had violated her safe place, with her in it nonetheless.
She demanded I opened the bedroom door immediately, and hid under the couch.
Three hours later I had to leave, and she still hadn’t moved. She was staring back with accusatory glow-in-the-dark eyes.
The friend who I was about to see offered that I could stay home, if I wanted to please M and try be friends again, but I said I really needed a break.
I had been in the house for two days and the walls were closing in on me.
“I need a fucking drink,” I replied.
And I put on a pair of red high heels, stonewashed jeans and a red and white blouse, to convince myself that I was more than just an animal caretaker.
My friend complimented me on my outfit.
“I had to. I was starting to feel like one of those new moms. With baby spills on her clothes and such.”
I drank two wine, and became vaguely aware of men desperately trying to get our attention. On the way home I had a man shouting at me while hanging from a car window. And a full terrace of one of those Turkish coffee houses that only had men on it, got into a slight uproar simply because I had to wait on my bicycle at the traffic light.
And I made a note-to-self to remember this outfit.
Being in love with two men, and neither one of them making plans to see me, it wouldn’t hurt to bring out the big guns.

An unexamined life is not worth living

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Lucky Star is the tenth chapter from Project M. 

tenth anniversary of the book that changed my life!

Summer 2008 I started writing in English.
Dutch American Diary 
Just like now, I was in love with two men. And just like now, they were both taken.
And – yes, just like now –  I had no idea where life would take me.
This 2008 diary became the only thing that offered stability during a time where I had just left my partner after fourteen years and the two new men were driving me crazy.

A book about starting over in your mid-thirties and reinventing yourself as a lover;
As a woman;
And as a vengeful fury from hell.

Als je Nederlands bent is 22 erotische verhalen een aanrader.
Maar je kunt natuurlijk ook gewoon de hele shop leegkopen.


These are my English titles:
Dutch American Diary 2008-2009  €15
LS Diary 2012-2013                                € 10
Bedtime Stories 2014                            €15
Mirage 2014                                               €5
Big, diaries and erotica 2015-2016 € 20
Get a 25% discount on all prices in the shop.
Select your store f.e. Nederland or United States
with the flag in the upper right corner.

De volgende Nederlandse boeken
zijn ook op voorraad bij boekhandel de Feeks in Nijmegen
verzending gratis v.a. € 17,50

Het Boek Benjamin           € 45
verzameld werk NL en Engels.
Het enige boek dat hier niet inzit is Witte Tijgerin, dus mijn andere Nederlandse boeken zitten hier wél in.

Mango                                 €15
coming of age novelle

22 erotische verhalen   € 15
literaire pornografie in de geest van Anais Nin

Witte Tijgerin                  €5
gids voor solitaire vrouwen die een geweldig seksleven willen en plenty energie


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