Using marketing & sales to magnetically attract your dream lover (m/f)

I’m not going to bother you with the details!
But suffice to say that within four days I went from in tears, desperate, and on the verge of accepting my “dream job” (which was somebody else’s dream job, obviously) –
and for the purpose of this story it’s worth mentioning that at this stage I was convinced I needed a second lover to complete my life-
to deliriously happy choosing writing and speaking as my life’s purpose, and treating my brain to a “not for sale nor hire nor rent” sign.
All my cognitive skills would from now on be reserved for writing.
I was no longer a brain for hire.
Not even if my life, or income, or financial means were dependent on it.
I just wasn’t available for that anymore.
I did have one safety measure in my plan to conquer the world with my writing: I was going to write, speak, sell under two different names, in two different languages, and about two vastly different subjects:
My Dutch account would be about marketing and sales techniques for small business owners.
And my English work would be about mistresshood, and how to be a good mistress.
But I just realized those two things are EXACTLY the same!
That although I still intend to publish a book
The Daily Mistress
Confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
here on this account LS Harteveld.
As well as * insert some flashy title on marketing and sales for small business owners * under my real name.
It simply has to end with me writing a book, combining the lessons of both!
Because they’re exactly the same!

Out of the top of my head, here are three ways in which marketing and sales use techniques and principles to becoming magnetically attractive to the opposite sex.

1. standing your ground

This is probably the most important piece of advice I can give anyone active on any market; whether it’s dating, teaching yoga or professionally trimming the bushes.
That came out all wrong.
But you get what I mean: clients and potential partners need you to radiate self-esteem, because it shows you know what you’re doing. It makes them feel safe.
Lowering your price or other standards, indicates you’re unsure of yourself.
That’s why it all starts with standing your ground.

2. long-term Connection

This is HUGE!
And it’s actually a fairly new principle in marketing, that originates from people using social media. Because social media will make a hit-and-run sale practically impossible, long-term focus has become a must.
And this goes for relationships too.
Now that it’s so easy to “out” strangers you slept with on social media, the “Know, Like, and Trust Factor”- the corner stone of marketing- has become crucial in selecting bed partners as well.
If you lead someone on, not revealing you’ll run after one night or already have a partner or whatever, you’ll have that blowing up in your face on social media in minutes.
So flirting and selling start by building something that’s meant to last regardless if the outcome is a sale/ sex/ a marriage/ whatever.
It’s the dreaded friend zone (between men and woman) and the “freebie” hunter- stage, that will drive any online-entrepreneur crazy, that you simply MUST learn to enjoy!
If you can’t accept a relationship without scoring, and you keep pushing for more?
You lose.
It really is that simple.
Either you can be the classic used-car sales man, using sleazy techniques to push someone into buying. Or you can be a modern used-car sales man who writes his private number on his business card and says:
“I understand you need to be careful where you spend your money. If you’re considering buying somewhere else, I can come take a look for you. It’s a free service, I just want you to be fully happy with what you’ve bought.”
Guess which one will get raving reviews, friends telling friends, and people throwing credit cards at them?
And can you see how someone being friend-zoned has the possibility to rise?
As long your presence in the friendship comes from what I said at 1:
high self-esteem and don’t lower your standards.
Taking things slow and enjoying the client or relationship at any stage, is key number two to becoming magnetically attractive.

3. focus on your client/ date

This is what separates the men from the boys. And the mistresses from the wives, I’d say.
Because this type of sensitivity is actually giving someone your FULL attention. Which will make them feel so loved. And it’s actually feels pretty awesome to give as well.
It’s the best thing ever.
Here’s how it works:
In order to give someone your full attention, you have to look at someone with true empathy and only focus on how you can help them and have a good time together.
There is zero room for your ego, of wanting to be exclusive, or to be the best in your business, and so on. You are one hundred percent focused on serving your client or date; you’re not pushing your own agenda.
This is of course not something you’re going to keep up 24/7
Which is why you must only meet/ contact/ show up selling when you feel good in your own skin and are able to connect with the other person.

It’s now Thursday afternoon, and despite the pleasure it’s been to write this I realize I ve run out of time already!
I should have left half an hour ago.

Maybe that’s the biggest lesson marketing can teach the dating industry:
Resources are scarce.
And your reputation fragile.
Don’t waste them.

enjoyed our time together?

You re welcome to subscribe for our next date:
The Follow button is somewhere on this page.
Have you found it?
And you can get to know me better by through my erotica and diaries at my new improved shop (English books, might have to scroll down)

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

or Facebook

These are my English titles:
Dutch American Diary 2008-2009  €15
LS Diary 2012-2013                                € 10
Bedtime Stories 2014                            €15
Mirage 2014                                               €5
Big, diaries and erotica 2015-2016 € 20
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