unrelated quote from Deadpool & Wolverine:
“There is an Enya box set?” (yes)

For someone who has always had a thing for younger men, and is not satisfied until she has a working protocol covering every possible scenario, I have been surprisingly slow with this.

However, when I finally decided to open up about it to someone I trust and who is also qualified to say something about it, my thoughts on the matter came out better formed than I had expected.
Apparently, even without writing or speaking about it, my mind had been trying to crack the code of how to deal with a love situation if the man is significantly younger.

A blueprint that cannot be static, because I have detected a strong preference for a certain cohort;
Not an age.
So our age difference will stay the same, but their age and life phase will be changing.

Right now they’re usually in their 30s, which comes with a story of its own, because when I was in my 30s I discovered very quickly I did not want to date men my age.
They always left to go have a serious relationship.

I particularly did not like the way they behaved in the final stages, measuring me up against the future mother of their children.
It wasn’t the fact that they settled down, I resented. It was how they flipped the script as if that had anything to do with me.

Silently, I thought: “See you after the divorce.”
Which I imagined would be when they’d be about 50.

And now here I am, no longer interested in them at all. The men I fall in love with have been younger consistently.

“I want it to be about them,” I said when I finally opened up.
“I want us to live it out, so they get what they need to move on.”

And I thought of the 2001 movie Sweet November, where Charlize Theron devotes the remainder of her life to helping one man each month, to change his life.
Keanu Reeves is November.
And there is a certain beauty to the synchronicity, because Charlize Theron recently shared she had an experience with a younger lover too.
And was so happy to have space for this in her life.

The way I see it, my protocol will be a maximum of one younger lover a year.
Short enough not to disrupt his life, his dreams, his destiny.

Long enough to compensate for the fact that, of course;
He will break my heart.

.~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living