Van Nice

In the early 90s Jon Bon Jovi was also really tired

Sara is my creativity coach.
Before our calls I always update her about grateful I am for having such a rich spiri- . You didn’t buy that right?
I talk about boys.
.
Hi Sara,.

I m here behind my computer late at night on a Monday, wondering (again) why I keep postponing this until I m tired as a dog, got a total mess in my kitchen waiting to be cleaned up before bed, and I m attacked by mosquitoes all the time.
I don’t want to use repellent because my cats hate it, and treat me like an untouchable if I put it on.
So now I m suffering from bites, they even sting through clothes.
My skin looks ravaged, it’s a good thing I m not a sex worker because this wouldn’t sell.
.
I always try to write these reviews without checking what videos I made, or what blog posts, or even checking my calendar.
This is because I will remember the important things!
Everything I forgot was not a good fit.
So let’s go!
.
I ve got bad news and good news.
Bad news first:
I haven’t done my finance nor figured out where I m going to work/ went job hunting.
And both are pressing matters.
Having said that, I know both will just drop into place like magic, when the time is there.
That’s how it always goes.
Other than that, I had two amazingly productive weeks that made me very happy.
.
First I lost four days to a heatwave but after that it was game on. .
I churned out a lot of videos for My Life in Bon Jovi songs
and a really cute story The Little Mistress who turned into a Baby Koala,
about a little mistress who was every man’s dream,
but if you had a normal relationship with her, or held her too long,
she turned into a baby koala.
The little mistress sets out to solve this riddle and visits Richie Sambora, Jon Bon Jovi and Nikki Sixx, to find answers.
.
The second accomplishment was that I wrote my first erotic story in two and a half years.
It was in my 1994 series, about a 22 year old Lauren, who’s trying to figure out her life as a graduate, certified yoga teacher and having tons of ambitions for her sex life. Ambitions she’s reminded about by a fan fiction story featuring the notorious Nikki Sixx.
In an attempt to savor the still extremely potent affair she has with Bear, she starts writing about her sex life again, based on her diary.
And it’s a gorgeous story that made me very happy!
.
I also started (real) diary writing, because 22 year old Lauren doesn’t blog, she has a paper diary. And I m also inspired by The Heroin Diaries from Nikki Sixx, to keep a normal diary.
It’s still an on and off thing, but I feel good about it. And it helps me with the retro-vibe.
In the audio book of The Heroin Diaries, Nikki Sixx makes most of his entries in a location which sounded like “Van Ice” or “Van Nice”.
Because we Europeans are used to Americans pronouncing European names differently I assumed – and I take full responsibility for this – that he was living in Venice, California.
Venice? Van Ice?
Until I noticed the track list of the soundtrack to the book (YouTube link to playlist). The second track was called:
Van Nuys
So I thought: “Oh THAT’s where he lived!”
Van Nuys was a village, settled in the early 20th century, named after Isaac van Nuys. His name traces back to a Dutch settler by the name of Auke Jans van Nuys, who came to America in 1651.
In all likeliness “Jans” was his real last name and Van Nuys was added in America.
Van Nuys refers to the little village Auke came from:
Nuis, in the North of the Netherlands.
And the “ui” or the “uy” as it is spelled in Americanized versions, are so difficult to pronounce that it drives anyone who needs to learn Dutch, to absolute madness.
On second thought the pronunciation Van Nice is brilliant and I would support giving the village Nuis in the Netherlands, a name change.
To Nice.
.
The final news is that I ve officially started Rock Star Yoga:
The home yoga practice as well as the blog.

I m unsure if this was after, or before you and I last talked.
Rock Star Yoga is a way to inspire people to start doing their home yoga practice by making it so much fun, that they can’t wait to get on their mat.
Yoga at home should be like sex, or the way writing is for me:
You must only do it if you can’t not do it, don’t care how much sleep you lose, or how much you have to give up in order to create the time.
It’s like being hooked on heroin, but then with yoga.
Problem was that my yoga addiction could not be summoned, I dropped out and didn’t feel like practicing. Meanwhile I was overflowing with inspiration as Lauren Harteveld, including writing my first erotica in two and half years.
I just wasn’t sharing my real self at Rock Star Yoga because I was embarrassed that it/yoga/blogs
were not proper. 
Cleared that.
Now I write my Rock Star Yoga blog about whatever inspires me, which are currently Nikki Sixx and Jon Bon Jovi,

And I practice yoga listening to Nikki Sixx reading the Heroin Diaries audio book, or watching An Evening with Bon Jovi (MTV 1992).
I make it a real party to be on my mat and to write the accompanying blog post.
And it’s working.
.
I have to go now, a new shift of mosquitoes has arrived. If 1994 Lauren gets half a chance at new material for her erotica, she can’t keep sporting this polka dot pattern.
.
Talk soon! I m looking forward to it!
.
Warm regards,

~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

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Van Nice 
is the fifth chapter of
7-figure Rock Star Writer part 5: “1994”: fanfic inspired erotica

My diaries en erotica are available at 

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If you check your cart, you can select your store
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Nederlandse boeken kun je ook direct bij mij bestellen

coming soon: new books

1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2019
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- verhalen over mannen, macht en dagjes uit (Dutch)

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow this blog. The subscription button to this blog is on this page, probably on the right.

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