Category: In the Stars (where I talk about men)

Two Ryans and one Tyler | In the Stars (where I talk about men)

Published on by LS Harteveld
This year, I had my first online astrology reading.
This new series “In the Stars” (where I talk about men) will be written based on the notes I took, and the memories that rose to the surface.

 

Episode 3
Two Ryans and one Tyler

Topic: Scorpio Men 

Management summary: 
There isn’t a profile of them that doesn’t contain the word Intense.
—

Scorpio, is the most intense sign;
Scorpio Sun sign;
Scorpio Rising, also called “ascendent”;
And Scorpio Moon.
All of these are what I would consider to be Scorpio men, and you can also have other planets in the sign of Scorpio + any planets in your 8th house also amp up your Scorpionic qualities.

This means that I think that assuming the planets are divided equally over the signs, I still think there are more Scorpio men than other signs, and you know why?
Because it is said the creature is so strong that if you have one of these three astrological placements (Sun, ascendent, Moon) Scorpio will take over your whole chart.

So imagine you’ve spent your whole life thinking you’re one of the happy (Sun) signs. (And trust me, compared to Scorpio? They’re ALL happy signs.)
Only to have your natal chart drawn up (you’ll need your birthtime + location for this), and suddenly discover Scorpio lurking on the Eastern horizon (Scorpio ascendent) or that your Moon is in Scorpio.

Initially I didn’t recognize its significance, I admit.
And neither did the astrologers who helped me in the past, or at least not to the extend of sitting me down, looking me in the eye, and to slowly articulate as they told me:
“Do you understand, my child, that this Scorpio will rule your life?”
There wasn’t any of that.

I excavated Scorpio myself, from under the astrological rock of my natal chart.
But holy fuck, it explained e.vry.thing.

First off because I definitely have one of them happy signs, and some backup planets in the same house and same sign, just for good measure.
I’ve had charts drawn up with a literal “100%” number in it, indicating that sign, that planet and that house, were all I had to use to navigate my chart.
Because it was 100% dominant.

And yet! I found myself utterly UNMOVED by the things that were supposed to make me (my “100%” sun sign) happy. In fact I was unmoved by the entire concept of happiness itself.
To me, happiness as in positivity, a sense of wonder and curiosity?
It was a mask for the outside world.  Like a romcom or a comedy movie: It was fun, but it didn’t contain substance.
My Sun sign is an effective mask, excellent coping, and it will get you places.
Just not places I cared for.

The happiness of my sun sign seemed to come “100%” natural to me, and sure, I certainly noticed when it was no longer there when I entered my personal dark ages, but that’s a story for another day.
But even in the depth of my despair, it wasn’t happiness that I missed.
It wasn’t the lack of happiness that caused the despair.
It was something deeper. Something…. ancient.

Having Scorpio placements in your natal chart can be described as your default emotional state being one of dark murky waters where creatures live that have no name.
It’s intense.
A word that can probably be found in every YouTube video about Scorpios.

So when I ultimately noticed this Ancient One in my chart, and finally with full understanding of what I was looking at, my life and the treacherous pits I had been navigating made sense.
I started looking for other Scorpios.

By now I am aware of them and I know who the Scorpios in my life are.
And I can really meet them in my Scorpionic form, stinger and all.

However, in my love life it seems to be quite meager…
Definitely too few to profile on, but I can attest one Scorpio had indeed been able to hold some pretty dark and intense shit for me. And I’m making a mental note now that this needs to be a non-negotiable. Emotional depth (secrets, kinks, and the odd existential crisis) need to be the bread and butter of a new affair.
A lover needs to welcome my darkness, as if it is my biggest gift.
(because it is)

Yet with Scorpio men currently absent from my personal life, I turned to celebrities to mirror my inner Scorpio. And I found two, possibly three.

First, the two Ryans, both Canadian actors;
-Ryan Reynolds
writer and actor from the iconic and very Scorpionic movie franchise “Deadpool”
-Ryan Gosling
Ken in the movie Barbie, but Scorpions will know him better from Drive and Bladerunner 2049. I also loved him in The Fall Guy and look forward to seeing him Project Hail Mary (currently in theatres).
I managed to miss Ryan Gosling in the turn of the century movie The Notebook probably because it was not Scorpionic. But by now he is definitely making the whole world thirsty for Scorpios.

Both actors have their Sun in Scorpio.
So apparently, regularly being pulled into the depths of your own emotions and other Scorpionic burdens, is not a social death verdict but can be weaponized into being the most charming guy in the room.
Or at least lethally attractive to other female Scorpios.

And the other Scorpio I found is not an actor but a character who carries its traits: Tyler Durden from the movie Fight Club, played by Brad Pitt.
The enigmatic rebel leader who liberates you by stripping away your possessions, looks, and sense of self.
He is your man if you’re looking for an ego death, or even if you’re not looking at all, but he thinks you need one anyway.

You have to realize that one day you will die.
Until you know that, you are useless.

I typed that without looking up the lyrics. It’s all right here, in my head, Tyler’s speech with the pulsating music from the Dust Brothers.

You have to give up.

With Scorpio men, I don’t just give up.
I give in.

~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

Subscribe to this blog for these In the Stars (where I talk about men) posts, my letters to Sara, the series Harteveld 2026* and the Behind the Scenes of my year 1991 diary.
The subscription button is on this page, most likely on the top right.

Books 

My diaries are available at LULU 
New books will be added.

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready,
is to subscribe to this blog.
Button on this page, probably on the top right.

Or follow my Facebook page
/ Twitter: @LSHarteveld

Nederlands blog:
https://zegmaarlauren.com/

Who’s (not) afraid of Leos? | In the Stars (where I talk about men)

Published on by LS Harteveld
This year, I had my first online astrology reading.
This new series “In the Stars” (where I talk about men) will be written based on the notes I took, and the memories that rose to the surface.

 

Episode 2
Who’s (not) afraid of Leos?

Topic: Leo Men and Aquarius (The Waterbearer)

Management summary: 
Leos are harmless, but there’s only one entirely unbothered by them.

At least 4 out of 5 of us, were Leo.
Probably even all 5 team members, I can’t remember.
But I do remember the fifth member of our team being totally unbothered by our discovery that we were with so many Leos.
So either he was one of us, or he had that sign that did not bother himself with astrology, nor with the astrological profile of our team. To him the outcome of our impromptu profiling session was irrelevant.
We, were irrelevant.

However, this did not lower our happy vibes about this amazing discovery.
Here we were, after weeks of having had a tremendously good time working together, and now we discovered that four of us had signs that were known for being Large!
This was Main character energy, times four, and yet we were not competitive in any way.

We had already instinctively been behaving like a pack of lions, without knowing each other’s signs.
And now that we knew them it only attributed to the fun.
Jokingly making scratch gestures to one another, accompanied with a growl, became pretty much a standard.
Our big feline egos were seamlessly fitting together in the office space.

After this experience I have always known that between me (a Leo Sun) and Leo men, things would just flow naturally.
And they always did.

There is a natural affinity underpinning our bond. A realization that we belong to the same species, and that there is a respect within the connection that does not have to be bargained for, and it doesn’t even have to be named.
It just is.

Having said that, there is also something that is not there, in this majestic bond, and that is an immediate reason to hang out.
Just like lions who sleep most of the day, chilling together on the Serengeti not doing much of anything, my apex predator bond with other Leos is marked by a sense of:
“Okay, now what?”
Whether they were friendships, or whether they were with men or with women; More often than not, it just withered away.
Without any friction, without any fights or misunderstanding.
There simply isn’t any urgency surrounding our connection, which comes with the consequence that ultimately there was too little growth.

And even when I did push for this growth, because I believed our relationship would have so much potential if we brought out our deeper layers;
They always refused.
By staying away after intense dates or creating more distance, as if they kept one paw in just in case I was changing my mind about the depth-thing.

What has made me weary of Leo men, is that I feel they don’t welcome my depth, and also (and even more frustrating to me) that they keep me out when they get knocked around by life and I am no longer welcome.
Just when there’s the opportunity to join forces, come up with a battleplan, and  ride out together to win this, they snatch the friendship out of my claws.

They don’t trust me with their dark stuff which basically means they just don’t trust me.
Which is cool, but I did lower my expectations.

Meanwhile on the other side of the zodiac we find a sign who also does not share any of their emotions, but here I always feel it’s because they have all that handled.
The intellectual Aquarius, the waterbearer.
My knowledge about Aquarius Men stems mostly from both Axl Rose from Guns N Roses as well as the actor Rutger Hauer, having been my idols for long periods on end, reading all their interviews at the time.
And they’re both Aquarius.

And I’m also “in contact with” an Aquarius man, and have been for 10, 15 years, who is probably even more difficult to stay in touch with than Axl Rose would be.
Entirely elusive. 

I’ve always had an interest in him, and after he shared more about himself on one occasion I was immediately hooked.
They say heroine is addictive right from the first shot;
This man had me hooked from just the idea of his needle.

This only Aquarius I was ever close enough with to have something that could count as the beginnings of a bond, was genuinely intoxicating.

And knowing I will dramatically fail at estimating where the magic was, I’m gonna try anyway. Because this may have been it for me and Aquarius.
I don’t hold a lot of hope there is more in the stars for me.

What I got so far, based on these two idols as well as this not-so-close encounter with the Aquarius man, is that an Aquarius is cool and distant.
But his sharp intellect, broadmindedness and a calm trust in his own capabilities, make you want to know him. And be with him.
You want to be the rare unicorn who is allowed into his bed as well as in on his master plan for a better world.

But perhaps because he is so altruistic at heart, there are no clear signs of longing or desire for you or for anyone else for that matter. He is perfectly comfortable in the camper he built himself, he does not need any luxury.
Acclaim or praise slides off him, just like criticism.
His mental space is reserved for the big picture things only, and he is entirely unbothered by normal everyday events. 

Even if that’s sharing your officespace with four lions.

~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

Subscribe to this blog for these In the Stars (where I talk about men) posts, my letters to Sara, the series Harteveld 2026* and the Behind the Scenes of my year 1991 diary.
The subscription button is on this page, most likely on the top right.

Books 

My diaries are available at LULU 
New books will be added.

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready,
is to subscribe to this blog.
Button on this page, probably on the top right.

Or follow my Facebook page
/ Twitter: @LSHarteveld

Nederlands blog:
https://zegmaarlauren.com/

Not enough water | In the Stars (where I talk about men)

Published on by LS Harteveld
This year, I had my first online astrology reading.
This new series “In the Stars” (where I talk about men) will be written based on the notes I took.

 

Episode 1
Not enough water

Topic: Men with water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

Management summary: 
Do not enter the water without a life vest and bring extra oxygen 

The 12 signs of the Zodiac are divided into four elements:
Earth and water.
Fire and air.
And in those two combinations.
The signs match well with other signs under the same element;
As well as with their counterpart.

Earth signs match with water signs.
Fire signs match with air signs.

Modern astrology uses your rising sign as the most important one (for which you need your time of birth), then your moon sign, and only third the sun sign.
But I’ve lived my life without knowing that, and taking everything flat out as Sun signs, the compatibility of signs this way still played out.

So even if you don’t know any rising- or moon signs, and go with your 20th century version of astrology, like I did, the rule of thumb that air goes well with fire and water goes well with earth, can still be useful.

However, if you do know your own birth chart, you can unearth new dimensions, or blindspots or black holes even, if you find one element is entirely missing from where the planets are.
There are also “points in the sky”, for example your Rising Sign, but they are harder to work with, and will not be felt with such tangible urgency.
So not counting rising sign and other points in the sky this is whether or not the 10 planets cover those four different elements, or if one or more elements are missing.

If you have your time of birth, your natal chart can be drawn, giving you the sign of each planet.
And therefor which elements you have in your chart.

If one element is entirely missing, this can form an incredible pull and visceral desire to get to know the people who do have that element in their chart.
Or they’re so foreign you have no idea where to start, but either way the dynamic will be very interesting.
And in my opinion, may be far more interesting to explore than matching up with the signs in the element that complement your sun sign.

My planets do not have any water. Neither one is in Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. I would not recognize water if it hit me in the head, and if it did hit I would not know what to do with it… 

It’s kind of the opposite to those memes where the fish are asked about the water and they don’t know what water is (because they’re in it).
Because in my case, it’s like asking a rattlesnake in the Mojave desert about its experience with water;
It has no idea what you’re talking about. 
And also makes a horrible meme.

But what if suddenly, in the middle of the desert an oasis arises and suddenly the snake finds itself in the clear cool waters of a beautiful lagoon?
Oh my God, that snake is never going to want to go back!!

And slowly but steadily, my memories of a Cancer and a Pisces lover resurfaced. 
And the dams broke open….
These had been the men who had given me the lagoon, and really quick and in a generous way. They provided what no girl will ever ask, because we all know how rare this is.
A whole lagoon, where lagoon stands for an emotional safe space where you float in perfect sexual harmony with your mermaid man lover.

At least until the moment he suddenly leaves, taking his mobile oasis with them and leaving you, just happily settled in after a lifetime in the merciless desert, out to die.

They were horrible, and they were incredible.
They were sensitive, until they were impossible.
They were cruel in the most elusive way, yet to this day I would not know what it was that made them more dangerous than a navy seal.

“They can drown you,” the astrologer said.

I type this and realize there was yet another… Another water sign.
Yet he did not fit the profile of the other two men at all.
He was protective. He was clear. He did not shower me with compliments nor with his emotions, and he knew how to deal with my deepest fears in an incredible respectful way.

He was a Scorpio.

Considering my options, this is definitely something to remember and take note off for me.
Yes, I will welcome a lover with a bit of water in his chart, but will definitely stay away from large bodies of water!

But a Scorpio-male with “Rattlesnake”-me?
That would make a great pair.

.
~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

Subscribe to this blog for these In the Stars (where I talk about men) posts, my letters to Sara, the series Harteveld 2026* and the Behind the Scenes of my year 1991 diary.
The subscription button is on this page, most likely on the top right.

Books 

My diaries are available at LULU 
New books will be added.

The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready,
is to subscribe to this blog.
Button on this page, probably on the top right.

Or follow my Facebook page
/ Twitter: @LSHarteveld

Nederlands blog:
https://zegmaarlauren.com/