This year, I had my first online astrology reading.
This new series “In the Stars” (where I talk about men) will be written based on the notes I took, and the memories that rose to the surface.

Episode 2
Who’s (not) afraid of Leos?

Topic: Leo Men and Aquarius (The Waterbearer)

Management summary: 
Leos are harmless, but there’s only one entirely unbothered by them.

At least 4 out of 5 of us, were Leo.
Probably even all 5 team members, I can’t remember.
But I do remember the fifth member of our team being totally unbothered by our discovery that we were with so many Leos.
So either he was one of us, or he had that sign that did not bother himself with astrology, nor with the astrological profile of our team. To him the outcome of our impromptu profiling session was irrelevant.
We, were irrelevant.

However, this did not lower our happy vibes about this amazing discovery.
Here we were, after weeks of having had a tremendously good time working together, and now we discovered that four of us had signs that were known for being Large!
This was Main character energy, times four, and yet we were not competitive in any way.

We had already instinctively been behaving like a pack of lions, without knowing each other’s signs.
And now that we knew them it only attributed to the fun.
Jokingly making scratch gestures to one another, accompanied with a growl, became pretty much a standard.
Our big feline egos were seamlessly fitting together in the office space.

After this experience I have always known that between me (a Leo Sun) and Leo men, things would just flow naturally.
And they always did.

There is a natural affinity underpinning our bond. A realization that we belong to the same species, and that there is a respect within the connection that does not have to be bargained for, and it doesn’t even have to be named.
It just is.

Having said that, there is also something that is not there, in this majestic bond, and that is an immediate reason to hang out.
Just like lions who sleep most of the day, chilling together on the Serengeti not doing much of anything, my apex predator bond with other Leos is marked by a sense of:
“Okay, now what?”
Whether they were friendships, or whether they were with men or with women; More often than not, it just withered away.
Without any friction, without any fights or misunderstanding.
There simply isn’t any urgency surrounding our connection, which comes with the consequence that ultimately there was too little growth.

And even when I did push for this growth, because I believed our relationship would have so much potential if we brought out our deeper layers;
They always refused.
By staying away after intense dates or creating more distance, as if they kept one paw in just in case I was changing my mind about the depth-thing.

What has made me weary of Leo men, is that I feel they don’t welcome my depth, and also (and even more frustrating to me) that they keep me out when they get knocked around by life and I am no longer welcome.
Just when there’s the opportunity to join forces, come up with a battleplan, and  ride out together to win this, they snatch the friendship out of my claws.

They don’t trust me with their dark stuff which basically means they just don’t trust me.
Which is cool, but I did lower my expectations.

Meanwhile on the other side of the zodiac we find a sign who also does not share any of their emotions, but here I always feel it’s because they have all that handled.
The intellectual Aquarius, the waterbearer.
My knowledge about Aquarius Men stems mostly from both Axl Rose from Guns N Roses as well as the actor Rutger Hauer, having been my idols for long periods on end, reading all their interviews at the time.
And they’re both Aquarius.

And I’m also “in contact with” an Aquarius man, and have been for 10, 15 years, who is probably even more difficult to stay in touch with than Axl Rose would be.
Entirely elusive. 

I’ve always had an interest in him, and after he shared more about himself on one occasion I was immediately hooked.
They say heroine is addictive right from the first shot;
This man had me hooked from just the idea of his needle.

This only Aquarius I was ever close enough with to have something that could count as the beginnings of a bond, was genuinely intoxicating.

And knowing I will dramatically fail at estimating where the magic was, I’m gonna try anyway. Because this may have been it for me and Aquarius.
I don’t hold a lot of hope there is more in the stars for me.

What I got so far, based on these two idols as well as this not-so-close encounter with the Aquarius man, is that an Aquarius is cool and distant.
But his sharp intellect, broadmindedness and a calm trust in his own capabilities, make you want to know him. And be with him.
You want to be the rare unicorn who is allowed into his bed as well as in on his master plan for a better world.

But perhaps because he is so altruistic at heart, there are no clear signs of longing or desire for you or for anyone else for that matter. He is perfectly comfortable in the camper he built himself, he does not need any luxury.
Acclaim or praise slides off him, just like criticism.
His mental space is reserved for the big picture things only, and he is entirely unbothered by normal everyday events. 

Even if that’s sharing your officespace with four lions.

Books 

My diaries are available at LULU 
New books will be added.

Nederlands blog:
https://zegmaarlauren.com/