I guess things were already set in motion for my re-toxification, when I wrote about becoming an early riser and didn’t even try to hide my repulsion for productivity culture, into which – in my opinion – early rising had found fertile soil to root and pull us into the darkest corners of capitalism.

That even in that post, although set up to share my early rising experience in a neutral way, it had unexpectedly ended on the thought:
“Do I really want to be a part of this?”

And that the blogpost had already answered that question for me.
No, I do not want my life to mirror the capitalist value of productivity.

So exit early rising, including daily writing and compulsive creativity and in with-
What exactly?

Without late night restrictions and without an agenda – or at least not one I was emotionally invested in – a sense of excitement and adventure soon seemed to lit me up from the inside out.

A tantalizing feeling that everything was possible, now that I had unchained myself from the trap of becoming an early riser.
As if I could see clearly for the very first time, and in all areas of life!
It was mindboggling, but also intimidating, because, well, first off let’s establish that the only area of life that interests me is the same one that has fascinated me for as long as I can remember, which is my love life and relationships with men in general. 
And writing second.
But writing is something that happens automatically, and in co-creation with my love life.

So this does not mean my other relationships are not deeply nourishing and meaningful, because they are!
But if we’re talking what’s on top of my mind, I’m very singular in my preference for men and art.
But the two are entirely symbiotic.
Sex and art.
And with only the first regularly sparking new ideas, theories, plans, goals, well truly anything and everything that makes life worth living.

So it was here!
I could feel my mind opening up, limitlessly, when the early rising thing went out the window.

And I closed the windows.
The heavy velvet curtains.
Lit a candle and incense.
Heavy smoke and the first Doors album filled the room and I let myself get carried away by the question;

Now what?

.
~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living

Harteveld 2025*
Are 2200 characters, or less.
The name is inspired by the book Fretz 2025 by Johan Fretz and asterisk by the  2025 movie Thunderbolts*