“When in love, have sex.
When not in love, don’t.”
After twelve years of analyzing her sexual preferences: Lauren realizes it really was that simple!
She feels a new person.
Last night when we picked up the bill, the bartender asked us:
“And? Got plans for tonight?”
“Going to finish my blogpost,” I answered truthfully.
“Will I be in it?” he asked.
“Not unless you’re going to have a deep emotional impact on me. Can you do that?”
We laughed it off, but it was true though.
Yesterday’s blogpost marked the ending of an era where I had called my blog a diary, inspired by real life.
Over the past months I had to alter so many things, that I had lost all emotional involvement with my story. It was as if I had met Brad Pitt in real life because I had become friends with Angelina Jolie;
But in order to protect their identities I had to write about it as if I ran into Ryan Gosling at the supermarket:
It was just stupid.
And what I had not even shared – when explaining my choice to go dark when it came to sharing my personal life – was that there had been a series of events that were simply too FAR OUT to alter in order to write about them.
For example: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt getting back together and asking me to be a bridesmaid on their second wedding.
It really was already a life imitates art situation, where the unbelievable had happened.
Altering it, to make it unrecognizable, would make it impossible for me to keep the facts straight for my story! And besides, altering HOW?
Everything was still in progress!
I had no idea in which way I could bend the truth, without screwing up the narrative.
So in the end I just decided to see it as a sign, that my life had become to complicated and secretive to keep a diary.
It was time to turn inward.
Yesterday’s post marked the beginning of the new era, where I would only write about my inner-world and avoid the pitfalls of revealing the identities of the men I slept with, wanted to sleep with, or even worse:
Didn’t want to sleep with.
And I also avoided the trap of revealing too much personal information, that wasn’t mine to share.
After posting it, I slept like a baby, and today I felt so light and peaceful.
The weight of secrecy and the heaviness of being a mistress;
It had all dropped off me.
From now on, I was a girl next door, who made love when she was in love.
And didn’t if she wasn’t.
Life really was that simple.
An unexamined life is not worth living
True Blue is the twenty-third chapter from Project M.
tenth anniversary of the book that changed my life!
Summer 2008 I started writing in English.
Dutch American Diary
Just like now, I was in love with two men. And just like now, they were both taken.
And – yes, just like now – I had no idea where life would take me.
This 2008 diary became the only thing that offered stability during a time where I had just left my partner after fourteen years and the two new men were driving me crazy.
A book about starting over in your mid-thirties and reinventing yourself as a lover;
As a woman;
And as a vengeful fury from hell.
These are my English titles:
Dutch American Diary 2008-2009 €15
LS Diary 2012-2013 € 10
Bedtime Stories 2014 €15
Mirage 2014 €5
Big, diaries and erotica 2015-2016 € 20
Get a 25% discount on all prices in the shop.
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with the flag in the upper right corner.