About two weeks ago I wrote a post to my coach Sara, which was so important I made its insights actionable in all areas of my life and addressed multiple notebooks to it!A sign I really mean it.
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The post was called Becoming Lauren and it was about how the softer, the feminine, the writer-side of me was slipping away, now that my work-life was going well.
“I feel she’s slipping away”
This side has been with me since 2007-ish, when I deliberately started the path of being single.
And yet, if I didn’t intervene I still risked losing her forever.
And yet, if I didn’t intervene I still risked losing her forever.
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But despite this realization, or the appointed stationary, nothing came of it.
It even got worse when next to my workhours being mapped out, I now took on the unholy task of creating productive evenings.
I cramped in all the stuff I could not fit in during the day, in back-to-back 30 minute time-brackets.
I cramped in all the stuff I could not fit in during the day, in back-to-back 30 minute time-brackets.
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The evening contained multiple things but the most “blasphemous” of them (because they were just work-hours basically) were studying 20th century rock, since becoming the 20th century Rock Journalist is one of my goals (you can find my goals at the bottom of this post);
As well as a bracket to publish my diary A Letter From A Stranger, including book 2 Dear Nikki.
As well as a bracket to publish my diary A Letter From A Stranger, including book 2 Dear Nikki.
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The other evening-items were fitting to the soft-feminine Lauren side of me, and it also included being creative but without being tied to a specific goal, nor is it for publishing or posting.
The other evening-items were fitting to the soft-feminine Lauren side of me, and it also included being creative but without being tied to a specific goal, nor is it for publishing or posting.
But because of those two productive elements (studying rock and publishing my books) as well as because of the cramped LOUD nature of this four hour productivity show;
As a whole it was just a heavy productivity core with a self-care layer of veneer.
As a whole it was just a heavy productivity core with a self-care layer of veneer.
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It was nothing Lauren would want to attend.
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So when I finally had my call with Sara, for whom I had written this letter Becoming Lauren, I knew very well things had only gotten worse, not better.
And that if I wanted to save Lauren, the productivity fest that was supposed to be my evening had to go.
And that if I wanted to save Lauren, the productivity fest that was supposed to be my evening had to go.
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And they did;
The two activities, studying rock and publishing my books, will be dedicated to eight weeks throughout the year where I don’t make content.
They’re now holiday-only activities, and I have stopped trying to give them a place in daily life, regardless of how important they are for my career or endgame.
The two activities, studying rock and publishing my books, will be dedicated to eight weeks throughout the year where I don’t make content.
They’re now holiday-only activities, and I have stopped trying to give them a place in daily life, regardless of how important they are for my career or endgame.
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But before I did I gave them one final review:
Why was it, that these activities consistently fell outside my activities?
Why was it, that these activities consistently fell outside my activities?
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And I came up with a logic or insight, that really helped me, and it may help you too.
And I came up with a logic or insight, that really helped me, and it may help you too.
It’s a bit controversial, so be prepared:
Long-term goals, end-games or visions, no longer pay off. (and perhaps they never did)
Long-term goals, end-games or visions, no longer pay off. (and perhaps they never did)
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In 1991 Douglas Coupland published his book
Generation X, Tales for and Accelerated Culture
And by all standards, the culture has only accelerated more since then.
And by all standards, the culture has only accelerated more since then.
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It is my conviction that by now, and I’m writing this November 2025, life has become so accelerated that from a professional stance, our work should be strictly limited to the value we can create within a day, a week or two weeks at most.
We should never take on anything that does not deliver value, outcome or money within an extremely short period of time.
We should never take on anything that does not deliver value, outcome or money within an extremely short period of time.
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And it’s not just the time-frame that determines whether something is worth undertaking.
It’s also the question: “Can it be produced within the (standardized) system I am currently using?”
It’s also the question: “Can it be produced within the (standardized) system I am currently using?”
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So for example, I am a good and experienced student.
Therefor I know how to tackle a new area of interest, categorize it, create a framework for it, and take in that information in a predictable way that can also be optimized.
In other words: I know how to study this 20th century area of interest I want to use to become a Rock Journalist.
And I’ve been a writer for almost two decades, and have been writing about Rock since 2019, so it is safe to say I have all the skills and systems in order to learn this craft.
Therefor I know how to tackle a new area of interest, categorize it, create a framework for it, and take in that information in a predictable way that can also be optimized.
In other words: I know how to study this 20th century area of interest I want to use to become a Rock Journalist.
And I’ve been a writer for almost two decades, and have been writing about Rock since 2019, so it is safe to say I have all the skills and systems in order to learn this craft.
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So the question: “Can it be produced within the (standardized) system I am currently using?”
Can be answered with: yes.
Can be answered with: yes.
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However, from the point of accelerated culture, the whole Rock Journalist endeavor still needs to be banned to the margins of my year, and can never have a place within the workweek.
Because this is not something that is going to produce money (the narrow definition of value) within two weeks.
Because this is not something that is going to produce money (the narrow definition of value) within two weeks.
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There is definitely still the option of it (my Rock Journalist studies) creating a broader definition of value, which would be the next option.
This would be a blogpost or a video, so that I already start sharing what I learn.
But I don’t currently see that option, within my current content planner.
This would be a blogpost or a video, so that I already start sharing what I learn.
But I don’t currently see that option, within my current content planner.
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My content is mapped out, based on the value they create. And it already includes some rock music related content as well.
But I will definitely expand my rock content, if I see an opening.
But I will definitely expand my rock content, if I see an opening.
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My take is that 2025’s accelerated culture, which already started in the 1991 book, means that as professionals we should only invest in things that will create value NOW
It makes no sense to invest anything in things that may or may not pay off in a future we have no way of predicting.
Our time window, again “as professionals”, has become limited to what we can make work TODAY.
Today, this week, or this fortnight.
It makes no sense to invest anything in things that may or may not pay off in a future we have no way of predicting.
Our time window, again “as professionals”, has become limited to what we can make work TODAY.
Today, this week, or this fortnight.
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The reason publishing my books as well as studying Rock has always, and will always be impossible to fit into my schedule is because it’s not something that is professionally relevant.
And not just because it’s art (publishing books) or a weird topic (20th century rock music).
And not just because it’s art (publishing books) or a weird topic (20th century rock music).
The same thing would be true if I wanted to open a bread bakery or a yoga studio;
It will never pay off, because these business models no longer pay off.
Not unless I find a way to make them work in this accelerated culture, where they make money from day 1.
It will never pay off, because these business models no longer pay off.
Not unless I find a way to make them work in this accelerated culture, where they make money from day 1.
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“Are there no exceptions then?” I hear you speak.
Probably, but this piece is written in an early stage of developing this theory and right now the only exception I see is with regulated and gate-kept professions.
Probably, but this piece is written in an early stage of developing this theory and right now the only exception I see is with regulated and gate-kept professions.
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F.e. it can pay off to become a dentist, a doctor, an investment banker or real estate broker, because as long as the systems of regulation of these professions are in place, you will always have work.
You could say the regulation prevents the accelerated culture from entering these “markets”. They’re not really markets, they’re simply gate-kept systems you can work your way into.
And it’s a good option, because it’s one of the few ways to keep the accelerated culture off your tail.
You could say the regulation prevents the accelerated culture from entering these “markets”. They’re not really markets, they’re simply gate-kept systems you can work your way into.
And it’s a good option, because it’s one of the few ways to keep the accelerated culture off your tail.
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But other than that, No. I don’t see ways to avoid having to deal with the reality that our professional lives revolve entirely around what value we are able to create in an incredibly short about of time.
And this means that activities like the ones I was struggling with, publishing books and studying an area of interest in order to write about it in the future;
Or the aforementioned pastry bakery or yoga studio you may aspire to have;
They’re just hobbies, until you find a way to accelerate the process and start delivering value immediately.
And this means that activities like the ones I was struggling with, publishing books and studying an area of interest in order to write about it in the future;
Or the aforementioned pastry bakery or yoga studio you may aspire to have;
They’re just hobbies, until you find a way to accelerate the process and start delivering value immediately.
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The tale of the accelerated culture is that a professional life means To Be A Successful Capitalist, and this has always been the case but with the “accelerated culture” it means the windows within which you have deliver have become tiny and the pace ruthless.
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No wonder Lauren was nowhere to be found;
Of course she refuses to show up for this.
Of course she refuses to show up for this.
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So although I knew, when the call with Sara started, that I had not kept my promise from the Becoming Lauren blog, and that the evenings with the back-to-back productivity blocks had to go;
It really paid off to understand WHY they had been so bad, but also WHY it is so tempting to do it that way.
It really paid off to understand WHY they had been so bad, but also WHY it is so tempting to do it that way.
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They were so bad because Lauren, feminine-me who basically would prefer to just stay in bed and eat grapes all day and have lovers;
Obviously she really needs my evenings to be laid back, unplanned, and cozy.
Obviously she really needs my evenings to be laid back, unplanned, and cozy.
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But the reason it is tempting for all of us, to have these secret dreams of one day being a rock journalist, or a published author, well that is because we suffer from that pace of having to be ON every day.
And performing every day.
And performing every day.
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We equate our own chosen vocation with being free from the pressures of having to perform in such a shallow way, where nothing we create has cost us more than the blink of an eye.
It’s eating away our soul, we long for depth.
It’s eating away our soul, we long for depth.
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But the truth is in our chosen vocations, even if we “make it”, will have the same ruthless pace. The same demands of capitalism would still be barking at us.
If we think we can escape the pressures of our accelerated culture by changing jobs or chasing our dreams, we’re wrong.
At best, we get to perform the same pressure-driven but also (admittedly) addictive fast-paced production, in the area of expertise we fancy, and we are now our own boss and in control of the entire process ourselves.
But it won’t get any easier or laid back.
If we think we can escape the pressures of our accelerated culture by changing jobs or chasing our dreams, we’re wrong.
At best, we get to perform the same pressure-driven but also (admittedly) addictive fast-paced production, in the area of expertise we fancy, and we are now our own boss and in control of the entire process ourselves.
But it won’t get any easier or laid back.
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So what I propose, and what I will definitely be doing for my inner-Lauren before she disappears on me, what I propose is that we acknowledge that our days have become insanely productive.
But also shallow and demanding.
And that we need a rest.
But also shallow and demanding.
And that we need a rest.
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That at six o’clock we pull the plug on everything.
And we go to bed and eat grapes.
And we go to bed and eat grapes.
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~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living
The story behind this time travel project has been added below..
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About: the 1990 project
For an indefinite time, I will be moving to the, I assume fictional, timeline of (re-)living 35 years ago.
Making the current year 1990.
This project has a predecessor, where I wrote as if I was in 1994 – 2000;
But this was mostly a literary (diary) undertaking.
I’m cutting back deeper into time, and do not intend to keep a diary. It is the living in the past itself, that is the art.
In September 2025 I came up with these goals, covering the first 8 years.
My 8 year goals are:
📵 to live a 20th Century life
🎸 to be a 20th century-inspired Rock journalist.
But on the current timeline.
So this means I make money creating content and speaking about rock music and 20th century things
📚 publish Lauren Harteveld work 2010-2025
📢 to make the Lauren Harteveld legacy visible
Books
My diaries are available at LULU
New books will be added.
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LS Harteveld 