“With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away.
Everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.”

Fight Club (1999)

A grey leather, A4-sized ringbinder with lined paper, and 15 minutes extra time in bed every morning, to write three diary entries.
That, for now, is the recipe.

Three entries, one for every timeline.

number 1: 1990
The timeline I cancelled because I did not want to forget the affair with Bear.
And if I would restart Lauren2000’s timeline in 1990, then my part-fiction part-real 27 year old counterpart would not have had an affair with Bear.
She’d be 17, and a virgin.
Starting her love life pretty much from scratch, and do it differently now.
Stop giving it so much of her attention.

The thought fascinated me, yet ultimately I refused to let my/Lauren’s history with Bear go.

Until this morning when I started a three-timeline diary!
This, was how I would preserve old timelines.
They would unfold simultaneously.
And Lauren’s 1990 virgin life was rebooted in a paragraph that took almost half a page.

Lauren’s 1990 priority, the decision she has made this morning, is that she will become a yoga teacher and will do an hour a day of yoga.

Then, the year 2000.
This is definitely my main creative timeline.
Although I am aware that living in the past, and writing from it, is completely unpackagable and in probability also ridiculous art, I’ve been mesmerized by it since 2019!

If I could choose I would go back today.
So I wrote from Lauren’s year 2000 timeline.
A short diary entry where she says she’s rebooting 1990 none the less.
But will never forget Bear, nor erase her own timeline.

2025
Where such a top heavy workload seems to have overtaken my life, it makes both my desire to move to simpler times totally understandable as well as totally impossible.

As of today, if I want this to work (finally!), then I now have 1 hour a day less to be creative.
Because Lauren 1990 is claiming one hour a day for her yoga.
And Lauren 2000 could not do any of my 2025 creative projects because we didn’t have content or internet then, like we do today.
So because almost all of my creative work is online, this automatically means it can only be done in 2025.
Therefor, it needs to be done within a regular workweek, so there is still leisure time that can be dedicated to my offline writing (Lauren 2000) and yoga (Lauren 1990).

This post + Canva took me (Lauren 2025) one hour and 29 minutes to create.
The other two girls, are waiting.

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