One of the things I will have to come to terms with is that I will not be the best timeline artist that has ever lived.Despite technically not being the first one to deliberately decide to live in the past, I feel that in many ways?
I am the first.
.
Maybe the difference is that I am not an actual time-capsule artist.
Thrifting secondhand stores for turn of the century items and redecorating my home or assembling a turn of the century wardrobe have never been the heart of what I consider the creation of a new timeline.
Maybe the difference is that I am not an actual time-capsule artist.
Thrifting secondhand stores for turn of the century items and redecorating my home or assembling a turn of the century wardrobe have never been the heart of what I consider the creation of a new timeline.
So from my perspective I am the first timeline artist, because what we have seen up until now are time-capsule artists.
Not timeline.
Not timeline.
.
Twenty years from now, I think more people will be working with the creation of timelines. And we’ll know how to start or set it up and live it, and how to keep getting better at it.
But for me the goal is doing it at all.
But for me the goal is doing it at all.
To make the first mark in untrodden territory.
.
And it’s not even a matter of not knowing if I’ll ever reach my destination, but being okay with not knowing what my destination is to begin with.
..
So this blogpost (again) is little more than me trying.
Trying, to give you a behind the scenes of what is now still my Lauren2000 project, and how I’m setting “us” up to be shifted into a new timeline.
1990.
Trying, to give you a behind the scenes of what is now still my Lauren2000 project, and how I’m setting “us” up to be shifted into a new timeline.
1990.
.
First the recap of what got us here.
Why am I on the year 2000 timeline?
It started in 2019 when I moved my literary as well as real life storyline of having a lover I called Mr. Big, to an alternative universe of 1994 where he was called Bear and we were college graduates.
And I liked it….. I liked it a lot.
Why am I on the year 2000 timeline?
It started in 2019 when I moved my literary as well as real life storyline of having a lover I called Mr. Big, to an alternative universe of 1994 where he was called Bear and we were college graduates.
And I liked it….. I liked it a lot.
.
At the time I had been writing about my affair with Mr. Big from March 2015 to 2019, and this was a new way of seeing our liaison.
It was a new narrative, a new story, based on the same events.
In this new story Lauren had “recruited” Bear in December 1989, because she needed someone experienced to lose her virginity with. Something he had agreed to. They had both liked it so much they kept seeing each other during their college years which would start Summer 1990.
It was a new narrative, a new story, based on the same events.
In this new story Lauren had “recruited” Bear in December 1989, because she needed someone experienced to lose her virginity with. Something he had agreed to. They had both liked it so much they kept seeing each other during their college years which would start Summer 1990.
.
So in 1994, when I began writing my new storyline (it’s poorly searchable on this website, but you can do a search for “Letter from a Stranger”, which will bring you to the first chapter and a category at the bottom of the post) Lauren and Bear are both graduated and starting their working lives.
Lauren has just moved into an apartment, and she now has cats.
Lauren has just moved into an apartment, and she now has cats.
.
So the Lauren year 2000 timeline, the one this current series you’re reading right now is a behind the scenes for;
Well that is nothing more than the 6 years later – storyline.
Well that is nothing more than the 6 years later – storyline.
But in the year 2000 the relationship with Bear is over, and she no longer has sex. This is the reason I am no longer writing for her because I don’t “need” a Lauren2000 diary saved until eternity, if Lauren doesn’t have a lover.
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Lauren 2000 does keep a paper diary but unless she gets a lover none of it will be published into a book.
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The timelines that will come out in book form are:
“A Letter to a Stranger, including book 2 Dear Nikki” 1994-1996
And then I’ll supplement it with a yet to be titled book:
“Lauren Endgame” 1996-2000
It will end in the year 2000 with Lauren deciding to turn the clock back in time and start all over again.
As if Bear never existed.
“A Letter to a Stranger, including book 2 Dear Nikki” 1994-1996
And then I’ll supplement it with a yet to be titled book:
“Lauren Endgame” 1996-2000
It will end in the year 2000 with Lauren deciding to turn the clock back in time and start all over again.
As if Bear never existed.
.
Now we’re in 1990 territory.
Because both Lauren 2000 as well as me real time 2025, have decided to set up and live into a new timeline:
What if, in December 1989, Lauren had not recruited Bear?
What if she had made a different decision, which is to focus on herself and worst case scenario to stay a virgin?
Because both Lauren 2000 as well as me real time 2025, have decided to set up and live into a new timeline:
What if, in December 1989, Lauren had not recruited Bear?
What if she had made a different decision, which is to focus on herself and worst case scenario to stay a virgin?
.
1990 was the heart of a worldwide fear of the aids pandemic, and this would stay on until second half of the 90s when combination therapy took the sharpest edges off.
It was an inauspicious moment to get experimental in your sex life, and the idea that Lauren would have made a different decision is quite plausible.
It was an inauspicious moment to get experimental in your sex life, and the idea that Lauren would have made a different decision is quite plausible.
.
So this is where we are setting up our new story.
A story I will be writing about, in this series (“behind the scenes”), but then it will be called Behind The Scenes of Lauren 1990, and no longer Lauren 2000.
So it will be a completely new timeline.
A story I will be writing about, in this series (“behind the scenes”), but then it will be called Behind The Scenes of Lauren 1990, and no longer Lauren 2000.
So it will be a completely new timeline.
.
However, as far as I can tell I will not be writing from or on, this timeline. I will keep a paper diary but I expect it to be brief and not be publishing it, since writing itself was connected to both being sexual, as well as in being in liaisons that were so complicated and emotional that I needed writing to process it.
However, as far as I can tell I will not be writing from or on, this timeline. I will keep a paper diary but I expect it to be brief and not be publishing it, since writing itself was connected to both being sexual, as well as in being in liaisons that were so complicated and emotional that I needed writing to process it.
On the new 1990 timeline we’re not having any of that.
.
In a very 2025 word, the 1990 timeline is all about decentering men and no longer making (shared) sexuality the core of her/my identity.
Lauren is to stay connected to her own body and not to lose herself in falling in love in a way that makes her give away her power.
She/ Lauren 1990 has no intention of writing because the point is she’ll be in charge of her emotions.
Lauren is to stay connected to her own body and not to lose herself in falling in love in a way that makes her give away her power.
She/ Lauren 1990 has no intention of writing because the point is she’ll be in charge of her emotions.
.
Chances are that this Lauren, sex or not, will never turn into a diarist.
But we’ll see.
If she does, we’ll get diaries written by Lauren 1990, but don’t count on it.
But we’ll see.
If she does, we’ll get diaries written by Lauren 1990, but don’t count on it.
.
Although I have been playing with the idea of cutting back so deeply in the 80s/90s to starting all over again for a number of years – and I know this because it started with the idea of returning to 1988 two years ago –
the choice to now actually get serious and do this, is really fresh.
And the newest aspect about it, and one I consider a big deal and me “getting serious” about it!, is that I have set up a date in July where I will transit.
the choice to now actually get serious and do this, is really fresh.
And the newest aspect about it, and one I consider a big deal and me “getting serious” about it!, is that I have set up a date in July where I will transit.
.
I will be treating this new timeline project like a departure, a migration, a move into foreign lands.
Just that this shift will be inward, and not in the physical world.
It will be in mindset (a word that I cannot use in 1990).
It will be about who I/Lauren become, after making a totally different choice.
Just that this shift will be inward, and not in the physical world.
It will be in mindset (a word that I cannot use in 1990).
It will be about who I/Lauren become, after making a totally different choice.
.
And I have less than two months to figure out how to get there.
.
.A
~Lauren
An unexamined life is not worth living
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